i kept drifting into and out of this trance like slumber so often...it felt like i was heavily drugged...a light..almost feather like feeling..but a head as heavy as lead...can't begin to describe it properly...but that was what the beginning of this week was like....i got back home yesterday....and the insomnias siezed me....it has me tightly gripped...beginning to live like a zombie...not getting enough sleep..resemble a ghost more than i resemble a frail human....
inspite of the fact that i dnt have a well balanced diet...i donno where from pimples get their nourishment...they are happily...multiplying...(OH god...no no its not multiplying...i meant they are playing their own hide and seek game).....i dont nourish a farm...hehe....
i have been watching quiet a lot of films lately...a wild mix of hollywood and bollywood (kindoff)....among ones i saw..worth mentioning is LOLITA...well yes its the picturisation of the "ïnfamous" controversial russian literary Vladimir Nobokov....
Well anythign out of the ordinary...or if i may say...deviant from normality...undoubtedly ...gets my undivided attention....to put it in a better way...i get hooked on to uncoventional stufff...lol be it people..or things...or idea...hehe...
nd i tried reading the book a year or two back...but the style of writing though excellent..the descriptions described in the book are pretty detailed...and i wasnt quiet able to continue with the book...but wanted to hear the end...and hence decided to get the film from the closest dvd Place....well..the film excellently made...Jeremy irons...the guy who plays one of the protagonists (prof. Humbert) did a great job...and his nymphet...the 12 yr old ...dominique swain...a gorgeous girl...did justice to the character......i felt mixed emotions while watching the film...while it kindof disgusted me the whole...nymphet...middle aged man screwing relation...at the same time...i appreciated the bond they shared..their little "secret"....oh well..all in all.....a good film......
My my it seems i have no life...its a miserable feeling...im embarrased even admitting it...but its kindof true...but yeah...oh welll....im happy in my unhappiness...and depression...and all that crap...nothign i do can make things betetr...got the hang of trying...so im goin with flow...lets see where i end up...lol....
Friday, December 28, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
end of another year...
Boy was this year quick...it flew past in the blink of an eye...hard to bilieve its almost 2008 can feel myself growing old...no xcitement about birthdays...or new year..or nething else about life in general ....lol...feels funny...when i think about it...its just more responsibilities...more of crapped up life...nd nothing atall interesting to look forward to...all i can see when i close my eyes..are..a cracked mirror....a dark...dingy room....smoke outside....nd bad visibility....clouded vision...i plan to plan such a lot of things...but my rotten luck..i guess...that nothing i ever want or plan goes as planned...lifes just fucked up....learnt from past expirience...no more elaborate planns for me...going with the flow...is better..at least no more smashed hopes and broken hearts....hope though that the new year is a bit different....have many randoms things in mind....lets c if they happen...gotta go now...
Saturday, December 22, 2007
AN emotional FOOOLLL.............
My my was today a busy day....i had wrk all day today...pretty much....first at my usual place nd then at the park.....i did the night shift....which wasnt too bad...my trainer...was an auusiiee gal ( tasiee to be more precise) and we talked heaps....coz it wasnt a crowded day....hardly neone was coming to out window...hehe....she turned out to be way younger than me...though her built...(shes a significant bit healthier than me) suggested otherwise....neway.....it was super windy when i left milsons point....looked like a night shot out of a bollywood film.....i pretended to be a lost scared gal (actress ...in case someones wondering)...hehe......
Yesterday....chritmas party was good....it was at a hotel .....ambience was great...and people had shed their office look and also...i have noticed that at such gatherings one actually gets to see the animal inside....behind the composed features.....plenty of food and drinks...i hardly ate the main course...coz 1) i had too many prawns (entree) and i cant bilieve i actually tried half a fried baby octopus...wasnt as disgusting ias i had anticipated it to be...it actually tasted “normal”..but i couldn’t get over the fact that it was an octopus.....nd checked it....
Neway....i wore all red....except for my JACKET which was black....DAMN...have to buy a red jacket...although black was quiet acontrast and looked good....nd i looked good (ok...i know you must have raised your eyebrows already....abt how “HUMBLE” i’m ...but i cant lie can i.....???)but it turned out a lot of people at work turned up in red...well no one was all RED though ....from head to toe....apart from ME..ME....ME.....;)i tried LONG ISLAND ICE TEA....BoY! was it good....the first sip hit me....i felt it....got kindof a bit “TIPSY”after that and some champagne....all the things ...feelings ...emotions ....i have been trying to block out came rushing back....and i almost did call “someone”up.....but didnt...eventually....thank GOD for that.....or it would have turned into a messy episode...may be....
These days i have started doing stuff i normally wouldnt do....i kindof try not to think toooooo..much before doing something...coz my habbit of constant analysis just spoils the fun ......wrenches it out of a lot of things....nd i actually quiet like it this way....
Oh well...slept in today...a bit ...and then work as usual....nd then luna park.....finised work at 10:00 got hoem at 11pm....and chit chatted with my roomies for a while...just finised watching WO H LAMHE....one of my favourite films...not coz i think the protagonists have done a really good job..but becoz.....i can relate to the plot...it seems so surreal the fact that some one can love someone else to the extent they have portrayed in that film.....would have to be bloody lucky....i would say....this films mesmerizes me every time i see it...no matter how many times i have already seen it..i always end up with moist eyes....towards the end....its just too touching....but im trying so hard to become a stone hearted soul......would be better offf......i reckon....all this emotional stufff...seems like a waste of time....and breathe....coz at the end of the day...LIFE is a bitch...and people around even more so....nd i tend never to get nething out of time invested into nourishing relations.........
GOD...its like quater to three almost...and im up late typing up this blog....what the helll.....i so dont have a LIFE.....DAMMIT!!!!!i am goin to visit a frnd tommorroww..she has heaps planned...which hopefully...if weather permits....we will be able to do all that she has plaaned out....then.....some more time devoted to nourishing relations....lol....its my birthday.....another damn....day....nother year closer towards DEATH......tahst how i have started looking at it.....DAMN...i sound majorly depressed even to myself.......CRAP.....i should be happy.....neway...im too tired....should go to sleeep i guesss.....signing off.....
Yesterday....chritmas party was good....it was at a hotel .....ambience was great...and people had shed their office look and also...i have noticed that at such gatherings one actually gets to see the animal inside....behind the composed features.....plenty of food and drinks...i hardly ate the main course...coz 1) i had too many prawns (entree) and i cant bilieve i actually tried half a fried baby octopus...wasnt as disgusting ias i had anticipated it to be...it actually tasted “normal”..but i couldn’t get over the fact that it was an octopus.....nd checked it....
Neway....i wore all red....except for my JACKET which was black....DAMN...have to buy a red jacket...although black was quiet acontrast and looked good....nd i looked good (ok...i know you must have raised your eyebrows already....abt how “HUMBLE” i’m ...but i cant lie can i.....???)but it turned out a lot of people at work turned up in red...well no one was all RED though ....from head to toe....apart from ME..ME....ME.....;)i tried LONG ISLAND ICE TEA....BoY! was it good....the first sip hit me....i felt it....got kindof a bit “TIPSY”after that and some champagne....all the things ...feelings ...emotions ....i have been trying to block out came rushing back....and i almost did call “someone”up.....but didnt...eventually....thank GOD for that.....or it would have turned into a messy episode...may be....
These days i have started doing stuff i normally wouldnt do....i kindof try not to think toooooo..much before doing something...coz my habbit of constant analysis just spoils the fun ......wrenches it out of a lot of things....nd i actually quiet like it this way....
Oh well...slept in today...a bit ...and then work as usual....nd then luna park.....finised work at 10:00 got hoem at 11pm....and chit chatted with my roomies for a while...just finised watching WO H LAMHE....one of my favourite films...not coz i think the protagonists have done a really good job..but becoz.....i can relate to the plot...it seems so surreal the fact that some one can love someone else to the extent they have portrayed in that film.....would have to be bloody lucky....i would say....this films mesmerizes me every time i see it...no matter how many times i have already seen it..i always end up with moist eyes....towards the end....its just too touching....but im trying so hard to become a stone hearted soul......would be better offf......i reckon....all this emotional stufff...seems like a waste of time....and breathe....coz at the end of the day...LIFE is a bitch...and people around even more so....nd i tend never to get nething out of time invested into nourishing relations.........
GOD...its like quater to three almost...and im up late typing up this blog....what the helll.....i so dont have a LIFE.....DAMMIT!!!!!i am goin to visit a frnd tommorroww..she has heaps planned...which hopefully...if weather permits....we will be able to do all that she has plaaned out....then.....some more time devoted to nourishing relations....lol....its my birthday.....another damn....day....nother year closer towards DEATH......tahst how i have started looking at it.....DAMN...i sound majorly depressed even to myself.......CRAP.....i should be happy.....neway...im too tired....should go to sleeep i guesss.....signing off.....
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
this thing called...LIFE
hehe...im back yet nother evening....or should i say nite...was so convinsed that i would not waste time...well i did make an honest effort....but DAMN...SEEK was stuffing up....will make nother effort to do some work now....wanted to try out some noodles from the shop down the corner...MAN...did i get a shock...it says FRIED HOKKIEN NOODLES...nd the pic is quiet a decent one..a platter full of prawn...and somethign tht resembles chicken...but when i started eating and chewed half of this ""THING"" did i realise i just swallowed an octopus....eoooowww....neway...never experimenting with asian food ever again....something amusing happened yesterday...lol...i walked into the house ......rite into an almost "OX-making" ....took me a sec to realise and thn i bolted out of the door to get a good laugh...hehe....
tomorrow is our office chrissy party....well im wasnt too xcited abt the party untill today...when on the train back home...my friends and i started gossiping..to be precise BITCHING....muhahaha..abt certain other interesting people...nd the discussiion is bound to continue and get juicier tomorrow...looking forward to it...OH and most of all....IM the RED gal tomorrow....its an all red look i shall have.....i ox dressing up needless to say...nd im obsssessed with RED!!!!well its at coogee at some hotel....nd after lunch we can take full advantage of the promiximity of the BEACH....nd strangely enough ( its great though) we can dress up in beach compatible outfits if we wanna....cant wait for tommorrow....its gonna be heaps fun...and mite be travelling to the mountains to visit a frnd and look arnd over the weekend....nd then MONDAY is my DdAY...not that im too xcited abt it...this day has lost its charm....gone are the days when i used to wake up a happy angel on the day.....now too much is on in life....the excitement getting drained too often....neway....thats how life is i guesss...LIFE...or something called LIFE....
tomorrow is our office chrissy party....well im wasnt too xcited abt the party untill today...when on the train back home...my friends and i started gossiping..to be precise BITCHING....muhahaha..abt certain other interesting people...nd the discussiion is bound to continue and get juicier tomorrow...looking forward to it...OH and most of all....IM the RED gal tomorrow....its an all red look i shall have.....i ox dressing up needless to say...nd im obsssessed with RED!!!!well its at coogee at some hotel....nd after lunch we can take full advantage of the promiximity of the BEACH....nd strangely enough ( its great though) we can dress up in beach compatible outfits if we wanna....cant wait for tommorrow....its gonna be heaps fun...and mite be travelling to the mountains to visit a frnd and look arnd over the weekend....nd then MONDAY is my DdAY...not that im too xcited abt it...this day has lost its charm....gone are the days when i used to wake up a happy angel on the day.....now too much is on in life....the excitement getting drained too often....neway....thats how life is i guesss...LIFE...or something called LIFE....
Sunday, December 16, 2007
yet another meaningless moment....
its the end of another weekend...sunday nite...almost Monday (SHIT!!!) i should be in bed....but as usual insomnia.... insomniac---ihave become one....is keeping me up...nd my too much of brainwork...more of wastage....hehe....i should have gone out with a friend yesterday..but....didnt feel like socialising....doesnt sound like me to myself...but yes....stayed home today as welll...ended up doin some productive work though today.....talked to my folks....didnt have much to say..they kindof picked up the hesistation between lines....nd someone else tried their best to annoy me as much as possible.....a nutjob....neway....nother week of office and then....its holidays.....
Woke up to a phone call from WRK today...i completely messed up my roster...i was meant to be working today...but instead was in dreamland....and woke up to my supervisors phone call....lol....have to be more carefull...made a blunder on the first day of work too with the cash...thats a story for soem other day though...hehe...talked to a couple of friends after a long time todaay...managed to piss one of them off totally.....to a point where shes isnt talking to me nemore....damn dnt knw how to make her see the intended joke that she took seriously....
im so tired...after awhole two days of doing nothing..it amazes me...how i can still be tired....may be its the mental drainage or is it somethign else...donno....too tired to figure taht out even...its time to say nitez....
Woke up to a phone call from WRK today...i completely messed up my roster...i was meant to be working today...but instead was in dreamland....and woke up to my supervisors phone call....lol....have to be more carefull...made a blunder on the first day of work too with the cash...thats a story for soem other day though...hehe...talked to a couple of friends after a long time todaay...managed to piss one of them off totally.....to a point where shes isnt talking to me nemore....damn dnt knw how to make her see the intended joke that she took seriously....
im so tired...after awhole two days of doing nothing..it amazes me...how i can still be tired....may be its the mental drainage or is it somethign else...donno....too tired to figure taht out even...its time to say nitez....
Friday, December 14, 2007
the uncanny....
i have always been bit too curious..unhealthy curiosity for the world beyond us..the other world...of the supernatural...well who isn't interested in them...evryone is rite?? i have always wanted an encounter of the sort (with a spirit or soul) my granma used to spank me whenever i brought this up.....but yeah...neway...back in 2001 while in high school had tried seance with my cuzns...well not seriously..ended up pouring molten wax on ourselves...but two years back we tried it seriously again..and this time..i felt somethign...so did one of my cuz....liek a chill going up the spine...were too scared to ever bring it up again...thats nite i cdnt go to sleep kept seeing wierd patterns and shapes in the dark...and the entire nite there were rattling noises near my window sill....man was i scared....
never went dwn tht lane ever after that ....ended up doin no productive work in the morning...my roomies niece came over..a 4 yr old...shes such a sweetheart....seeing kids makes me appreciate a lot of things in life...at times...wonder what it wld be like to have a kid hanging around me all the time...shld be fun...neway....my world pretty much revolved around her for the greater part of the morning...nd later had some good time conversing abt how shitty life can be...as usual.....but a lot of things and perceptions in general about life have changed for me...my cousin actually got kindof worried abt me when i was talking to her the other day....she thought i had issues i shld discuss with her...or i would apparently go mad...
Now im super sleepy...tried to watch a film..but mind wasnt really into it...then tried reading a book but no cdnt do tht either...just digging into past...was goin thruough some conversation i have had with some then significant people...lifes such az bitch...i tend to get penalised for all sort of things i havnt done..donno why...this restlessness is just
never went dwn tht lane ever after that ....ended up doin no productive work in the morning...my roomies niece came over..a 4 yr old...shes such a sweetheart....seeing kids makes me appreciate a lot of things in life...at times...wonder what it wld be like to have a kid hanging around me all the time...shld be fun...neway....my world pretty much revolved around her for the greater part of the morning...nd later had some good time conversing abt how shitty life can be...as usual.....but a lot of things and perceptions in general about life have changed for me...my cousin actually got kindof worried abt me when i was talking to her the other day....she thought i had issues i shld discuss with her...or i would apparently go mad...
Now im super sleepy...tried to watch a film..but mind wasnt really into it...then tried reading a book but no cdnt do tht either...just digging into past...was goin thruough some conversation i have had with some then significant people...lifes such az bitch...i tend to get penalised for all sort of things i havnt done..donno why...this restlessness is just
Thursday, December 13, 2007
with or without a reason....
another day is getting over...a bright sunny day it was....quiet an ok day....i was having a conversation with one of the gals at work...she is having troble in her relationship...so is my roomie...evryone i know is kindof actually.....evryone thinks their problem is the worst ....to each his/her own....i guess...a lot of people..friends from back home and here....i sometimes think (well actually a lot) why do people like or even love other people...what is it in others that attracts people to them...i go for the inside person more than outside....not tht it doesnt matter but...yeah...neway....a high skool friend txtd me today...from india..i had lost her number...and kindof she had been pushed to the background...too..even though we spent good times together this time.....felt good she acyually took time to sms me and let me knw her details updated...ill try to keep touch....theres these few people....even if i channelise a lot of effort into keeping good terms with them..they cdnt be bothered....or rather..make sure they make it obvious....this after a lot of sweet memories...is just a shocker....one feels really hurt for a week or so..then it kindof sinks in..and then you learn to accept things the way they are and live on like it never happened....i guess....certain times...though....its just horrible...a fresh stab...when u have a normal conversation...and get the feeling its all like old times...but no...the misunderstanding is cleared up soon enough when u hear the back bitching/back stabbing from random people...shreds of conversation that is....i have stopped trying to work out these things once and for all.. they r just not worth the effort...just a lot of wasted emotions and breathe on a lost cause....im really hungry...should go eat something...
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
nothing better to do....
its nearly 9:45 pm....i just got back home a while ago....damn tired...had a quick dinner....and i can almost feel the drowziness....slumber is like heaven....
i was supposed to start some serious work....but due to various reasons...came home really late today....have been getiing almost migraine like headaches for the past two days....dont knw whats wrong.....have a million things on my mind rite now....
as confused as ever abt loads of stuff nd not a soul i can talk to...was hoping to talk to my cuz...but shes a sick puppy for now...so i guess things have to wait....somethig else made me realise tht my pain threshhold has increased...not a pain wimp nemore kindoff...hehe...im writing all nonsense...i guess shld get back later....to exhausted to think straight...nite..
i was supposed to start some serious work....but due to various reasons...came home really late today....have been getiing almost migraine like headaches for the past two days....dont knw whats wrong.....have a million things on my mind rite now....
as confused as ever abt loads of stuff nd not a soul i can talk to...was hoping to talk to my cuz...but shes a sick puppy for now...so i guess things have to wait....somethig else made me realise tht my pain threshhold has increased...not a pain wimp nemore kindoff...hehe...im writing all nonsense...i guess shld get back later....to exhausted to think straight...nite..
Thursday, December 6, 2007
death of communication.....
havent been able to blog for a while...welll the neighbourhood network i used to access is dead...and so has resulted in communication being cut off between me and the rest of the world....im currently reading a novel by an afghan author...Khaled Hossein...THE KITE RUNNER....some book...very touching story....im quiet a wuss at times...i have been constantly crying while reading the book...its an involuntary reflex....i have...very emotional...set against the backdrop of war ripped afghanistan mostly....
Have to start working on my thesis though...promised myself that tonite would be it....when i stop playing around and do some serious work....Last weekend was spent in nourishing..or at least trying to nourish relations...dont know if its still mal nutritioned or recovering...hehe...but neway...the total effect was desirable...caught a bad cold on my way back home at night though...and have had a fever and sore throat...runny nose...the full package in short ever since...heaps betetr today....nd something else thats happened is im gonna be working at a theme park as of this week...
It should kindof help in driving away the constant y of my ambience (mostly)....fingers crossed....nd will earn me some extra bit ofcash as well...so all good in the end...i was alone at home....so before the depressive mood could set in ...i escaped into the cyber world and here im now sittign in a cafe blogging and talking to a high school friend of mine....my roommates arent gonna be back untill late tonight...CHRISTMAS PARTY time.....neway.......im gonan go back and do some serious reading cook up some edibles and also try to catch on some lacking sleep.....guess thast all there is to be said....gonna have to deal with absence of cyber world...for a while till i get a decent net connection....signing offf......
Have to start working on my thesis though...promised myself that tonite would be it....when i stop playing around and do some serious work....Last weekend was spent in nourishing..or at least trying to nourish relations...dont know if its still mal nutritioned or recovering...hehe...but neway...the total effect was desirable...caught a bad cold on my way back home at night though...and have had a fever and sore throat...runny nose...the full package in short ever since...heaps betetr today....nd something else thats happened is im gonna be working at a theme park as of this week...
It should kindof help in driving away the constant y of my ambience (mostly)....fingers crossed....nd will earn me some extra bit ofcash as well...so all good in the end...i was alone at home....so before the depressive mood could set in ...i escaped into the cyber world and here im now sittign in a cafe blogging and talking to a high school friend of mine....my roommates arent gonna be back untill late tonight...CHRISTMAS PARTY time.....neway.......im gonan go back and do some serious reading cook up some edibles and also try to catch on some lacking sleep.....guess thast all there is to be said....gonna have to deal with absence of cyber world...for a while till i get a decent net connection....signing offf......
Thursday, November 29, 2007
the art of living....relations and all that...
its has been a while since i moved places....to be precise...two whole weeks and a day....im liking it...luckyly my roomies are good/ok....and we try to be there for each other when someone needs help...
Lately a lot of people around me have been having issues with relationships...be they with their significant other or just acquaintainces...or even good friends and colleagues......
At times people tend to rely so much on people...they just know kindof not toowell even...but intuition makes us do thigns otherwise...this can also be called a result of thinking with the heart ratehr than with the BRAIN...hehe...
i have been effected by other peoples lives time and again...to a great extent....where i have puto=in more effort into making the other person feel comfy and better...while my own crises were pushed back to the furthest corner...but....hardly ever have i got the same response from those very people....
Wasting emotions and feelings for "friends" has become a thing of the past....it seems...most people feel that way...in this modern rat race....too much work presure...personal issues to be handled and all th other things that need to be taken care of....peple are becoming mechanical...more liek a robot....no emotions..its liek you dont wannna invest time knowing someone or making someone feel wanted ...given a choice between doin the aforementioned and earning a few extra dollars....obvious choice here burns down to $....
a lot of times....i have seen people..my parents even complain..that i dnt spend enough time with them...this time when i went back to kolkata....this was somethign i heard too often....i even realised that so very often people arent the way they seem to be...even your closest family and friends seem to be kindof distant and liek strangers at times....even if i stayed home for a week mom and dad would be like thats not good enough...i shld not go out socialise with friends everyday...they failed to see that i wantted to catch up with other people too after staying away from home for nearly 4 years...but i know i cant really blame them....they want their legitimate share of time with me tooo...
I cooked proper food for the first time since i moved....and i was pretty impressed when it turned out pretty good..without supervision aye (although i did call up ma and asked her why the hell the potatoes were taking so lang toget boiled...twice hehe!!!)but it felt good.....cant afford the luxury of home cooked food all the time though once middecember is here....evrythign needs to be slotted into cooking time...washing time...etc etc....
I dont eevn know what i started off with when i started typing this blog..and where im ending now...just mixed expressions....i guesss...neway i sound way to confused....lunch is getting cold...nd im stomachs making noises again....HUNGRY....adios...
Lately a lot of people around me have been having issues with relationships...be they with their significant other or just acquaintainces...or even good friends and colleagues......
At times people tend to rely so much on people...they just know kindof not toowell even...but intuition makes us do thigns otherwise...this can also be called a result of thinking with the heart ratehr than with the BRAIN...hehe...
i have been effected by other peoples lives time and again...to a great extent....where i have puto=in more effort into making the other person feel comfy and better...while my own crises were pushed back to the furthest corner...but....hardly ever have i got the same response from those very people....
Wasting emotions and feelings for "friends" has become a thing of the past....it seems...most people feel that way...in this modern rat race....too much work presure...personal issues to be handled and all th other things that need to be taken care of....peple are becoming mechanical...more liek a robot....no emotions..its liek you dont wannna invest time knowing someone or making someone feel wanted ...given a choice between doin the aforementioned and earning a few extra dollars....obvious choice here burns down to $....
a lot of times....i have seen people..my parents even complain..that i dnt spend enough time with them...this time when i went back to kolkata....this was somethign i heard too often....i even realised that so very often people arent the way they seem to be...even your closest family and friends seem to be kindof distant and liek strangers at times....even if i stayed home for a week mom and dad would be like thats not good enough...i shld not go out socialise with friends everyday...they failed to see that i wantted to catch up with other people too after staying away from home for nearly 4 years...but i know i cant really blame them....they want their legitimate share of time with me tooo...
I cooked proper food for the first time since i moved....and i was pretty impressed when it turned out pretty good..without supervision aye (although i did call up ma and asked her why the hell the potatoes were taking so lang toget boiled...twice hehe!!!)but it felt good.....cant afford the luxury of home cooked food all the time though once middecember is here....evrythign needs to be slotted into cooking time...washing time...etc etc....
I dont eevn know what i started off with when i started typing this blog..and where im ending now...just mixed expressions....i guesss...neway i sound way to confused....lunch is getting cold...nd im stomachs making noises again....HUNGRY....adios...
Monday, November 26, 2007
a new week begins with a not that great start....
its monday again...the worst time of the week....dragging myself out of bed after a late nite sleep (or should i say sleeplessness) is bad....i had made a promise to myself that i wouldnt stay uptoo late..which i kindof did....was up till around 12 only...but nature had other plans for me...my roomamte found yestarda of all days to have a full on lenghty fight/discussion about her marriage nd her family issues with her Boy friend ( actually friend i think....shes isnt capable of finding herself a guy...)...neway...nd boy was she loud....i was tryinto catch soem sleep ..but i kept hearign snatches of her conversation...about trying to kill herself....and how her parents would disown her...and a whole lot of other shit...felt liek screaming out loud...when a few coughs and Ahem...ahemms didnt work...
so my effort was wasted...but im gonna try it tonight...again....i ahve also decided to exercise and cook at last...eating out or eating frozen stuff is just making me sick....i could be convinsed im never gonan eat pies or chicken bites ever in my life again....
only for today though for lunch i was craving soem noodles from this great shop down the street...and im pigging out no wonder ...but this is the last tiem in a long time...do have a lot of other stuff to do rite now..lunch times running out...adios...
so my effort was wasted...but im gonna try it tonight...again....i ahve also decided to exercise and cook at last...eating out or eating frozen stuff is just making me sick....i could be convinsed im never gonan eat pies or chicken bites ever in my life again....
only for today though for lunch i was craving soem noodles from this great shop down the street...and im pigging out no wonder ...but this is the last tiem in a long time...do have a lot of other stuff to do rite now..lunch times running out...adios...
Saturday, November 24, 2007
a bit of this and that....
have not done anything productive....or should i rephrase it...worthwhile...today...have been staying up too late for the past two weeks....my frnd just mentioned i kindof have dark circles (in their neo natal state) and a budding PIMPLE....Damn!!!!why meee??????
so have decided to take up good habbits and chuck bad ones lets c if it works....need a beauty sleep LOL.....welll i am getting pretty frustrated...have been trying to watch heroes ( one of the links wdnt start up and nother one played for 20 mins and then just buffers for eternity...) and house ( i have looked evrywhere for it ,nowhere to be found)...all of today....
feel like a zombie....i managed to burn my pizza to charcoal today...was at home alone ...too engrossed in posing and doin my usual thing..and exploring things to remember that i had set a 10 min time for heating pizza....btt i realised.....my lunch was a disgusting,foul smelling,lump of black crap....also managed to slice my finger with a certain something(i donno what the things called in english).....hehe
am still trying hard to watch heroes while im typing up this blog...its so different from neother wekends in recent past..all i did today was laze around...talk to some friends...and family...and discuss certain rather interesting things with my roomie...u knw things thats chicks talk abt...the usual ones....and then the discussion ended with dissing guys...and what a pain in the arse they can be....hehe its like we get a pleasure by calling out fellow humans (out counterparts..hehe) cold hearted bastards....aha but it didnt stop there...we moved on to how many bitches are running astray these days too...hehe...
neway im kindof bored now....had thought of cooking tonight but it aint happening...just too lazy to get up and cook now...will manage another night on pies and chicken nuggets i guess...
was planning on watching a bengali film though...im in my "ï have to watch a "gud" bong film now" mood these days....stayed uptill three thrity yesterday watching some..even though i was tooooooooo tired nd kindof needed to catch up on sleep....lol....but im going to mend my ways just on time....nomore late nights.....;)
so have decided to take up good habbits and chuck bad ones lets c if it works....need a beauty sleep LOL.....welll i am getting pretty frustrated...have been trying to watch heroes ( one of the links wdnt start up and nother one played for 20 mins and then just buffers for eternity...) and house ( i have looked evrywhere for it ,nowhere to be found)...all of today....
feel like a zombie....i managed to burn my pizza to charcoal today...was at home alone ...too engrossed in posing and doin my usual thing..and exploring things to remember that i had set a 10 min time for heating pizza....btt i realised.....my lunch was a disgusting,foul smelling,lump of black crap....also managed to slice my finger with a certain something(i donno what the things called in english).....hehe
am still trying hard to watch heroes while im typing up this blog...its so different from neother wekends in recent past..all i did today was laze around...talk to some friends...and family...and discuss certain rather interesting things with my roomie...u knw things thats chicks talk abt...the usual ones....and then the discussion ended with dissing guys...and what a pain in the arse they can be....hehe its like we get a pleasure by calling out fellow humans (out counterparts..hehe) cold hearted bastards....aha but it didnt stop there...we moved on to how many bitches are running astray these days too...hehe...
neway im kindof bored now....had thought of cooking tonight but it aint happening...just too lazy to get up and cook now...will manage another night on pies and chicken nuggets i guess...
was planning on watching a bengali film though...im in my "ï have to watch a "gud" bong film now" mood these days....stayed uptill three thrity yesterday watching some..even though i was tooooooooo tired nd kindof needed to catch up on sleep....lol....but im going to mend my ways just on time....nomore late nights.....;)
Friday, November 23, 2007
life as it is......
another weekends knocking at the door...friday mood kicking in...im at my best onfridays....anticipating the two days of sleeping in till late....not being bored....doing things i wanan do etc...last weeks been prety crazy.....i have to get into a habbit of sleeping early though...pretty much every day last week went to bed past 12 am....and the hangover the next day and the next and the next..it just keeps going...on...is bad.....neway.....today.....was a nice day....good start to the day....
some random stanger commented on my way to work that i looked very pretty....i gave him my best smile...trying to maintain my cool....but i could feel the warmth creeping on to my cheeks....DAMN....he saw me turning into a turnip at the slightest comment...hehehe
welll...i have been tryin to avoid passing places where theres lots of shops...coz im ashopaholic...its like this addiction i have for clothes....ended up buying two really nice jackets( it was a good buy though)...proud of my purchase...but thats it cant buy nethign more for a long time...my cupboards gonna burst one of these days....
at work....
the mornign started with a bang...well not for me..but one of my fellow colleagues...Fridays are casual...and guess what he decides to wear....A Blue T which says "FUCK OFF LIBERALS" ....this on the pre Federal election day and with a lot of opinionated clientele roaming around our office block...not a great idea...he was told to put on a jumper...hehe....nd i thought democracy existed....
....our reception person was in a meeting for a while tday...so i was attending to that..a good break frm the monotonity of my own wrk...day seemed to move at a snails pace....just coz i was impatient and wanted to get the hell outof office....met up with uni friends today after ages....we went to the rocks...it was kindof drizzling slightly....four of us met up...walked through the moonlite market ( i think tahst what its called)...was too hungry to stop by and look at stuff though..had dinner ( hard to bilieve $26.80) at an italian pizzeria...talked and talked abt how lifes been going for all of us....
then we walked dwn to starbucks and had some hot chocolate warmed up and came back home...really njoyed the company...we sat there gossiping and discussing with each other...for ages....could almost see the backdrop change into the uni library or the river bar...like olf times....those were good old days...now evryones just too busy...working or doing whateever the hell it is....to even message or chat once in a while...lifes so mechanical....makes me sad at times....
i have taken up from where i had left off with the house of the dead...pretty depressing story...but interesting nonetheless....i also got a new phone today....pretty excited ...exploring what it has to offer...heaps of features and all...black sleek body....have an eventful weekend coming up tooo...loadsof cleaning and household chores to be done not to mention shopping ( groceries ;) this time}....gonna go watch house now....have to catch up .....
some random stanger commented on my way to work that i looked very pretty....i gave him my best smile...trying to maintain my cool....but i could feel the warmth creeping on to my cheeks....DAMN....he saw me turning into a turnip at the slightest comment...hehehe
welll...i have been tryin to avoid passing places where theres lots of shops...coz im ashopaholic...its like this addiction i have for clothes....ended up buying two really nice jackets( it was a good buy though)...proud of my purchase...but thats it cant buy nethign more for a long time...my cupboards gonna burst one of these days....
at work....
the mornign started with a bang...well not for me..but one of my fellow colleagues...Fridays are casual...and guess what he decides to wear....A Blue T which says "FUCK OFF LIBERALS" ....this on the pre Federal election day and with a lot of opinionated clientele roaming around our office block...not a great idea...he was told to put on a jumper...hehe....nd i thought democracy existed....
....our reception person was in a meeting for a while tday...so i was attending to that..a good break frm the monotonity of my own wrk...day seemed to move at a snails pace....just coz i was impatient and wanted to get the hell outof office....met up with uni friends today after ages....we went to the rocks...it was kindof drizzling slightly....four of us met up...walked through the moonlite market ( i think tahst what its called)...was too hungry to stop by and look at stuff though..had dinner ( hard to bilieve $26.80) at an italian pizzeria...talked and talked abt how lifes been going for all of us....
then we walked dwn to starbucks and had some hot chocolate warmed up and came back home...really njoyed the company...we sat there gossiping and discussing with each other...for ages....could almost see the backdrop change into the uni library or the river bar...like olf times....those were good old days...now evryones just too busy...working or doing whateever the hell it is....to even message or chat once in a while...lifes so mechanical....makes me sad at times....
i have taken up from where i had left off with the house of the dead...pretty depressing story...but interesting nonetheless....i also got a new phone today....pretty excited ...exploring what it has to offer...heaps of features and all...black sleek body....have an eventful weekend coming up tooo...loadsof cleaning and household chores to be done not to mention shopping ( groceries ;) this time}....gonna go watch house now....have to catch up .....
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
out of hybernation...
I have been super busy in the past week...not had the time to blog....some anonymous reader asked me why....well...movings cals for settling and unpacking too as an afetrmath...i have been doing a bit of that and also...mostly chatting with my friends...roaming around the city aimlesslessly...not knowing what better use i can make of my new found freedom...lol...im kindof in a daze....watching films...my god i have seem Om shanti Om 5 times already i think....me and my roomie keep rewatching the Tamil film shoot....and rolling on the ground when SRK goes...naughty pussy ....and raascella MIND IT!!!!!
A lot of people i know have started to comment on how i think a bit too much....and take things way too overboard or seriously when in fact certain things dnt need that much of attention....Im beggining to think its kindof a serious problem....
I had anticipated that this move will be followed by less tiredness...and more sleep...less of nocturnal net surfing....and easing into the mood to study....but helll....nothign like thats been happening...well i dnt stress as much but been cuttign dwn on sleep...either watching films...or connecting with people...or going out....and the lacuna of sleep is starting to tell on my health...dnt have much of an appetite...went out for dinner yesterday nite with my roomie...she kindof had to take up the role of my MUM telling me to get more generous helpings of food...when i started harping about having eaten toomuch...and feeling bloated up....
oh well it feels good to see someone cares at least...neway shes an absolute sweetheart...we gel well..being two mad caps as we r always competing for the title "Queen nutcase"....hehe....
I have kindof seen that if i dont stick to my usual routine for things...everything around just goes haywire....well my system does too....i have been sleeping late as usual...but getting up 45 mins later than when i used to at my previous nest...but i end up panicking and rushing forgetting lunch....or almost go out with clothes not properly doen up...run to the station manage to hop on the train just as its about to slam shut on me....its a mad rat race..and strathfield is so damn crowded at the early hours of the day....
today the house is supposed to get cleaned every nook and corner...and weve decided that its high time we started doin some serious house wrk and cooking instead of pigging out outdoors....i have been eating chicken and vegetable pies for god knows how long...and can almost see my appetite getting bashed to death when i open the fridge and see the pies taht r still left to be eaten....sick of em.... :(
rest nothing much to be said really...apart from the fact that im still devoting a lot of "my" thinking time and raking my gray matter to figure out how i function in certain ways at times....and how other fellow homo sapiens around do too....more i think more i tend to get confused though....but its like a disease i cant stop thinking.....
A lot can be blamed on certain fellow humans....and on the books i have been reading in recent times....depressive as hell but for me ...they hold my interest...and are unputdownable....hehe....im running out of news..and can heard my stomach groan in complaint for lack of food...signing off for now...
A lot of people i know have started to comment on how i think a bit too much....and take things way too overboard or seriously when in fact certain things dnt need that much of attention....Im beggining to think its kindof a serious problem....
I had anticipated that this move will be followed by less tiredness...and more sleep...less of nocturnal net surfing....and easing into the mood to study....but helll....nothign like thats been happening...well i dnt stress as much but been cuttign dwn on sleep...either watching films...or connecting with people...or going out....and the lacuna of sleep is starting to tell on my health...dnt have much of an appetite...went out for dinner yesterday nite with my roomie...she kindof had to take up the role of my MUM telling me to get more generous helpings of food...when i started harping about having eaten toomuch...and feeling bloated up....
oh well it feels good to see someone cares at least...neway shes an absolute sweetheart...we gel well..being two mad caps as we r always competing for the title "Queen nutcase"....hehe....
I have kindof seen that if i dont stick to my usual routine for things...everything around just goes haywire....well my system does too....i have been sleeping late as usual...but getting up 45 mins later than when i used to at my previous nest...but i end up panicking and rushing forgetting lunch....or almost go out with clothes not properly doen up...run to the station manage to hop on the train just as its about to slam shut on me....its a mad rat race..and strathfield is so damn crowded at the early hours of the day....
today the house is supposed to get cleaned every nook and corner...and weve decided that its high time we started doin some serious house wrk and cooking instead of pigging out outdoors....i have been eating chicken and vegetable pies for god knows how long...and can almost see my appetite getting bashed to death when i open the fridge and see the pies taht r still left to be eaten....sick of em.... :(
rest nothing much to be said really...apart from the fact that im still devoting a lot of "my" thinking time and raking my gray matter to figure out how i function in certain ways at times....and how other fellow homo sapiens around do too....more i think more i tend to get confused though....but its like a disease i cant stop thinking.....
A lot can be blamed on certain fellow humans....and on the books i have been reading in recent times....depressive as hell but for me ...they hold my interest...and are unputdownable....hehe....im running out of news..and can heard my stomach groan in complaint for lack of food...signing off for now...
Sunday, November 18, 2007
comments and criticism...
had a oxly weekend....a pinch of pepper with it....i cant bilieve i have managed to watch OSO (Om Shanti Om) so many times in the past week....me and my
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
A walk to remember....
i moved out finally...living with friends now...well its a wierd feeling...i have been craving this for a long long time...but when its finally happening....i feel a bit sad and immensely happy ......feel a void....will get better hereon though...slept pretty late day before hence a hangover yesterday...had to do a lot of things too so took the day off work....and went home early....was just by myself....my mind was a "montage" of happy/sad....memories....flashes from recent past.....i specially remember the day we (my cousins and I) lied at home about a day out in the city (bicenttenial park) but actually landed up at BONDI Beach...spent a lovely 3 hrs building sand castles or lazing in the sun....gentle waves kept coming and lapping us up...time and again...and then we had sandwich on the rocks and walked the coast line from bondi to coogee....passing bronte beach (tiny one) and waverley cemetary (its beautiful...the pic above is one of the tomb stones)....catch glimpses of it in DIL CHAHTA HAI...the background in Tanhai....
neway apart from these occasional good times i had..there were plenty that totally killed the good spirit inside me....
started to get bored and lonely .....my friend came home just in time...we just sat and chatted late into the nite....and i didnt even keep track of time...were so engrossed...by the time we looked at the watch it was nearly 12....but fell asleep the minute my head touched my pillow....which hasnt hasppened in a million years...i guess things are starting to change.....im happyyyyy.....so long so good.....
Friday, November 9, 2007
random ness....the idiot(s)
today is diwali...an auspicious day....and to top it all its a FRIDAY .....which means weekend mood setting in.....and uh..huh...more reason to be happy...im moving tomorrow...yipiiiii... ;)
today started like any other day this week....i woke up to my alarm and the soothing noise of the heavy downpour outside....while on my way to work...few random incidents happened which i would like to share....
while on the train...i usually have my ipod turned on...listen to music and kindof doze at the same time .....if im not carrying a book with me....today i hapened to sit in one of those seats on the train where two sitting places face each other...there was an indian guy ( pretty handsome...i thought he looked....kept looking at him every now and again...) was sleeping ..fast asleep...at town hall station a gal who was sitting by the window seat needed to get out and cdnt do so coz our legs were kindof forming a grid blocking off the exit...she called to him
uhummmm excuse me...no answer....did this couple of times...then actually tapped ...still no response....next came violent jerking and he jumped out of his seat....every one around had a god laugh....poor thing must be so tired to be that sleepy....hehe"
some thing that happened at work today....i was going to confirm the full name and other details for a certain Mr. Gay Dickason...( well yeah thast how it was spelt on sky [the database i work on]) i was almost going to say the last name to the receptionist when i realised that its a typo...too much of a cooincidence being named gay dick-ass-on.....DAMN...managed to save my own rite on time...but both (the receptionist & I) realised what happened at the same time..and burst out laughing on the phone.....iwas bursting almost...had to hang up....
my colleague...the gal who sits next to me is dcurrently working on a conference called "shared services" and she has been calling up companies asking for people who hold that title....and guess what kindof responses she has been getting...."shed services??? what the hell is that??" stupid receptionists...either they are deaf or have a brain the size of a shrunk pea...to think someone would call them up at government organisation and ask for someone in charge of sheds or shed servicing....what morons....
running late..lunch seems to be over..gotat get back to work...bye untill i have something more to share....
today started like any other day this week....i woke up to my alarm and the soothing noise of the heavy downpour outside....while on my way to work...few random incidents happened which i would like to share....
while on the train...i usually have my ipod turned on...listen to music and kindof doze at the same time .....if im not carrying a book with me....today i hapened to sit in one of those seats on the train where two sitting places face each other...there was an indian guy ( pretty handsome...i thought he looked....kept looking at him every now and again...) was sleeping ..fast asleep...at town hall station a gal who was sitting by the window seat needed to get out and cdnt do so coz our legs were kindof forming a grid blocking off the exit...she called to him
uhummmm excuse me...no answer....did this couple of times...then actually tapped ...still no response....next came violent jerking and he jumped out of his seat....every one around had a god laugh....poor thing must be so tired to be that sleepy....hehe"
some thing that happened at work today....i was going to confirm the full name and other details for a certain Mr. Gay Dickason...( well yeah thast how it was spelt on sky [the database i work on]) i was almost going to say the last name to the receptionist when i realised that its a typo...too much of a cooincidence being named gay dick-ass-on.....DAMN...managed to save my own rite on time...but both (the receptionist & I) realised what happened at the same time..and burst out laughing on the phone.....iwas bursting almost...had to hang up....
my colleague...the gal who sits next to me is dcurrently working on a conference called "shared services" and she has been calling up companies asking for people who hold that title....and guess what kindof responses she has been getting...."shed services??? what the hell is that??" stupid receptionists...either they are deaf or have a brain the size of a shrunk pea...to think someone would call them up at government organisation and ask for someone in charge of sheds or shed servicing....what morons....
running late..lunch seems to be over..gotat get back to work...bye untill i have something more to share....
a Big Mark of Interrogation...??
although im kindof new to the world of blogs....im getting into the mood....i ox reading other peoples blogs....(well few interesting bloggers have my attention....)
its lunch time now....im kindof bored and already looking forward to friday night.....well its diwali after all...and i might end up socialising (fingers crossed) .....at a temple....lol....neway seeing new faces is better than seeing none at all.....might be able to get rid of the monotonity of life for a night at least....and more reason for joy...moving on saturday...can fore see the hectic day....but its exciting.....btw its rainy today...been rainign since morning....when i left home in the morning..it was a slight drizzle (while no one was looking i did a little bollywood rain dance on my way to the station, pretending to running around trees....non existant ones...hehe...its fun pretending to be in those situations...) which later intensified into a not too heavy shower....getting drenched in the rain is a lot of fun.....it makes me feel fresh.....its not so welcome though on my way to work...for an obvious reason...;)
neway getting back to what i was saying....came across this "tale" i would like for anyone who reads this blog to please comment on the stories...its from some one elses blog btw....
Heres how the first one goes....
There was this girl (ahh… interesting right?)… she has got the hots for this dude and it appeared that this dude was perfect for her.He even reciprocrates on and off.... The author referred to him as ROFH (Mr-Right-One-For-Her)… you know, stable career, has all the charm, strong chemistry… perfect … almost. But there’s a slight problem, this dude just doesn’t prioritise her. He will only call her out when he has nothing else to do. Knowing that she has got the hots for him, the dude maximise his advantage to the fullest and took her for granted. If you guys are asking whether she slept with him… well, I dunno that....keep guessing.....Then… hmmm… along came another dude, this is OTRFH (Mr-One-that’s-right-for-her)… you know, the one who prioritise her, the one who would bow down at her skirt, the one who know what she wants and fulfil her wishes.
personally well i would go for a mix between the two ( sounds too good to be true aye....) some one who gives me enough attention and is "bad" (u know what i mean......) ;)
Now, who do you think the girl chose?
The second story goes this way.....
There is this really hot looking babe with guys always on her trail. But you guessed it right, she is obviously not interested in them. At least not in the way that they wanted her to.To make thing things more interesting, she is current dating someone who is dating. Sounds confusing? Well, she is semi-dating someone who is fully-dating another person. Yeah, basically she is the 3rd party in someone else’s relationship. And hear this, she knows it’s wrong and once sworn never to do such thing for her previous relationship was wrecked by another 3rd party… talk about irony.
its hard to decide here what i would have done.....love/ strong emotions make people do a lot of things they woudnt be ready to admit they are capable of doin.....i get pretty confused when it comes to these situations....lol..im "ONE" confused soul....
what do you think would happen....would she end it there and move on to dating someone whos devoted to no one but her....or would she stick with the "bone in the meat" guy whos dating someone else....
its lunch time now....im kindof bored and already looking forward to friday night.....well its diwali after all...and i might end up socialising (fingers crossed) .....at a temple....lol....neway seeing new faces is better than seeing none at all.....might be able to get rid of the monotonity of life for a night at least....and more reason for joy...moving on saturday...can fore see the hectic day....but its exciting.....btw its rainy today...been rainign since morning....when i left home in the morning..it was a slight drizzle (while no one was looking i did a little bollywood rain dance on my way to the station, pretending to running around trees....non existant ones...hehe...its fun pretending to be in those situations...) which later intensified into a not too heavy shower....getting drenched in the rain is a lot of fun.....it makes me feel fresh.....its not so welcome though on my way to work...for an obvious reason...;)
neway getting back to what i was saying....came across this "tale" i would like for anyone who reads this blog to please comment on the stories...its from some one elses blog btw....
Heres how the first one goes....
There was this girl (ahh… interesting right?)… she has got the hots for this dude and it appeared that this dude was perfect for her.He even reciprocrates on and off.... The author referred to him as ROFH (Mr-Right-One-For-Her)… you know, stable career, has all the charm, strong chemistry… perfect … almost. But there’s a slight problem, this dude just doesn’t prioritise her. He will only call her out when he has nothing else to do. Knowing that she has got the hots for him, the dude maximise his advantage to the fullest and took her for granted. If you guys are asking whether she slept with him… well, I dunno that....keep guessing.....Then… hmmm… along came another dude, this is OTRFH (Mr-One-that’s-right-for-her)… you know, the one who prioritise her, the one who would bow down at her skirt, the one who know what she wants and fulfil her wishes.
personally well i would go for a mix between the two ( sounds too good to be true aye....) some one who gives me enough attention and is "bad" (u know what i mean......) ;)
Now, who do you think the girl chose?
The second story goes this way.....
There is this really hot looking babe with guys always on her trail. But you guessed it right, she is obviously not interested in them. At least not in the way that they wanted her to.To make thing things more interesting, she is current dating someone who is dating. Sounds confusing? Well, she is semi-dating someone who is fully-dating another person. Yeah, basically she is the 3rd party in someone else’s relationship. And hear this, she knows it’s wrong and once sworn never to do such thing for her previous relationship was wrecked by another 3rd party… talk about irony.
its hard to decide here what i would have done.....love/ strong emotions make people do a lot of things they woudnt be ready to admit they are capable of doin.....i get pretty confused when it comes to these situations....lol..im "ONE" confused soul....
what do you think would happen....would she end it there and move on to dating someone whos devoted to no one but her....or would she stick with the "bone in the meat" guy whos dating someone else....
Thursday, November 8, 2007
now these really are tough questions..??!@//!! hehe
wanted to share this news article i found on the internet....had me rolling with laughter...nearly fell off my chair laughing...hehe....M sure all who read this will get a good "guffaw" heehehe at least a smile (a big one) out of it.....
5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man
The questions are:
What are you thinking about?
Do you love me?
Do I look fat?
Do you think she is prettier than me?
What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.
5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man
The questions are:
What are you thinking about?
Do you love me?
Do I look fat?
Do you think she is prettier than me?
What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.
Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
1.Baseball.
2.Football.
3.How fat you are.
4.How much prettier she is than you.
5.How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")
Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:
1.I suppose so.
2.Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
3.That depends on what you mean by love.
4.Does it matter?
5.Who, me?
Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:
1.Compared to what?
2.I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
3.A little extra weight looks good on you.
4.I've seen fatter.
5.Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:
1.Yes, but you have a better personality
2.Not prettier, but definitely thinner
3.Not as pretty as you, when you were her age
4.Define 'pretty'
5.Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question #5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer, or course, is "Buy a Corvette.")
No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:
She....Would you get married again? He.....Definitely not! She....Why not - don't you like being married? He.....Of course I do. She....Then why wouldn't you remarry? He.....Okay, I'd get married again. She....You would? (With a hurtful look on her face) He.....Yes, I would. She....Would you sleep with her in our bed? He.....Where else would we sleep? She....Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her? He.....That would seem like the proper thing to do. She....And would you let her use my golf clubs? He.....She can't use them; she's left-handed.
random shreds of happy....sad....moments....
im have been tryin to get back to my usual "happy" sad self for quiet a while.....its kindof slowly getting there i think....yesterday i felt this sudden burst of energy more like adrenaline gushing through me....and it felt kindof good......decided to do something i have been postponing for quiet a while now....oh well its kindof hard to get back into a routine study mood if ones been out of touch for weeks together.......after the brief socialising yesterday....got home early.....wandered aaround the house ( i was all alone for a fair bit of time, which is what i wanted) hehehe.....and then cleaned up my room....packed some of my clothes (i do have a lot of clothes...never realised that untill recently when i have been packing things into my luggage carrier....moving this weekend...Woo Hoooo ..im excited....)found a few "missing" articles i have been hunting for since sometime......
the weather does tend to effect my mood quiet alot...im the happiest when its a perfect summer day(even though Im hot....;)) with a clear blue sky..dont mind a handful of cumulous clouds here and there....a gentle breeze blowing.....not too humid not to dry....what really gets to me is if its neither sunny nor fully rainy.....absense of the sun kindof also sees the smile disappear from my face tooo.....hehehe..too much of positive correlation i guess......lol......managed to fall asleep as soon as i hit the pillow (for the past 4 to 5 days)which is a good sign....the distant pitter-patter of raindrops outside my casement did help me lull into the dreamworld i love visiting now and again....
neway coming back to where i started..things are fianlly kindof starting to head the way i want it to.....this weekend marks a (sortof) fresh start for me.....i have resolved to seriously do something about my social habbits...go out more often mix with fellow humans.....and try to get into a "dont care" mood....once i get thr things should be fine....coz i wld not be bothered asmuch i guess if i stop connecting with people....not a great thing entirely but will save me some unnecessary problems...and wasted emotions and energy.......
aim to reach a state of ecstacy / euphoria eventually....well the rate of accelaration at which my minds locomoting is not too impressive but it needs some fuelling and should be fine...i think.....
feels good being happy......
another reason to be happy this week is.......might be able to go watch om shanti om at the theatres.....fingers crossed.....this friday....and its diwali tooo this weekend....lot happening around aye....
to end it feels great to be HAPPY....;)
the weather does tend to effect my mood quiet alot...im the happiest when its a perfect summer day(even though Im hot....;)) with a clear blue sky..dont mind a handful of cumulous clouds here and there....a gentle breeze blowing.....not too humid not to dry....what really gets to me is if its neither sunny nor fully rainy.....absense of the sun kindof also sees the smile disappear from my face tooo.....hehehe..too much of positive correlation i guess......lol......managed to fall asleep as soon as i hit the pillow (for the past 4 to 5 days)which is a good sign....the distant pitter-patter of raindrops outside my casement did help me lull into the dreamworld i love visiting now and again....
neway coming back to where i started..things are fianlly kindof starting to head the way i want it to.....this weekend marks a (sortof) fresh start for me.....i have resolved to seriously do something about my social habbits...go out more often mix with fellow humans.....and try to get into a "dont care" mood....once i get thr things should be fine....coz i wld not be bothered asmuch i guess if i stop connecting with people....not a great thing entirely but will save me some unnecessary problems...and wasted emotions and energy.......
aim to reach a state of ecstacy / euphoria eventually....well the rate of accelaration at which my minds locomoting is not too impressive but it needs some fuelling and should be fine...i think.....
feels good being happy......
another reason to be happy this week is.......might be able to go watch om shanti om at the theatres.....fingers crossed.....this friday....and its diwali tooo this weekend....lot happening around aye....
to end it feels great to be HAPPY....;)
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
to love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness...
this is a beautiful quote i came across just wanted to post it.....one of woody allens quotes...
this is a beautiful quote i came across just wanted to post it.....one of woody allens quotes...
a simple gesture can make a world of difference....worth a try??...
how many times have i actually thought of saying sorry to someone for something mean i said or did....but never really ended up saying it....not too often...but yes there have been times when i would do anything but utter that word "sorry"....but every time i have said that to someone....i instantly feel better.....
the incident that comes to mind rite now happened about 2.5 years ago...got into a rather rough patch with a dear friend of mine.....we had some misunderstandings ....."THANKS"
to a random idiot who i happened to pour my heart out to....and being really close friends (at least i felt that way) i was devastated when my friend woudnt talk to me and accused me of being a ***** who had no morals and shit like that....i couldn't sleep at night for days on end...cry my eyes out....people at uni would be like what on earth was wrong with me...i repeatedly said sorry even though it wasn't really my fault....neway we've reconciled since then....but things havent really quiet been the way they used to be the pre-"that episode" days.....i still lament the loss of a strong bond...but i guess life moves on....
I have had a tumultous couple of years in the recent past.....and the situations ihave been thrust into have in a lot of ways made me more mature as a person...and to try learn and live life alone....coz i am convinced of one thing for sure...my lucks pretty crap....never get what i want easily enough without having to loose sleep over it....being easily effected by whats in in and around my life....i tend to get depressed a lot these days tooo...trying to block out things but in vain.....should get there soon...i mean be successful in becoming a total recluse with no attachments (social) whatsoever.....
enough of depressing monologues....today is a big day here....Melbourne cup is on in a while .......people are xtra happy coz they thought it would have to be cancelled due to the widespread equistrian flu "epidemic" ...well almost...but o well its finally happening...im kindof unwell.....bored at work as always...;).....lol....so in a while we leave all office staff ..heading to a cafe down the street...just socialise watch the race....dine along with wine....not really dining but late lunch with champaigne and wine.....i kindof needed just this....havent met a soul outside of home....well not literally but not met up with friends in eons....hopefully will have a not that mundane afternoon afterall i guess....
the incident that comes to mind rite now happened about 2.5 years ago...got into a rather rough patch with a dear friend of mine.....we had some misunderstandings ....."THANKS"
to a random idiot who i happened to pour my heart out to....and being really close friends (at least i felt that way) i was devastated when my friend woudnt talk to me and accused me of being a ***** who had no morals and shit like that....i couldn't sleep at night for days on end...cry my eyes out....people at uni would be like what on earth was wrong with me...i repeatedly said sorry even though it wasn't really my fault....neway we've reconciled since then....but things havent really quiet been the way they used to be the pre-"that episode" days.....i still lament the loss of a strong bond...but i guess life moves on....
I have had a tumultous couple of years in the recent past.....and the situations ihave been thrust into have in a lot of ways made me more mature as a person...and to try learn and live life alone....coz i am convinced of one thing for sure...my lucks pretty crap....never get what i want easily enough without having to loose sleep over it....being easily effected by whats in in and around my life....i tend to get depressed a lot these days tooo...trying to block out things but in vain.....should get there soon...i mean be successful in becoming a total recluse with no attachments (social) whatsoever.....
enough of depressing monologues....today is a big day here....Melbourne cup is on in a while .......people are xtra happy coz they thought it would have to be cancelled due to the widespread equistrian flu "epidemic" ...well almost...but o well its finally happening...im kindof unwell.....bored at work as always...;).....lol....so in a while we leave all office staff ..heading to a cafe down the street...just socialise watch the race....dine along with wine....not really dining but late lunch with champaigne and wine.....i kindof needed just this....havent met a soul outside of home....well not literally but not met up with friends in eons....hopefully will have a not that mundane afternoon afterall i guess....
few tough questions....are they really???
i just happened to come across a few "tough" questions blokes often think of.....heres what experts have to say about it...
do animals have a 6th sense like us?
or a seventh in fact???....oh well a box jellyfish has 24 eyes,the entire body of an earth worm is a bloody taste receptor...cockroaches can detect movement 2000 times the diameter of a Hydrogen atom....and for those who have dogs..they can smell upto 100,000 times betetr than u can...i think they just are super human "species" neway...us lesser mortals have to learn to deal with what we have or should i say havent ;)
hope that answers the question...lol
where do traffic jams come from?
scientists are hard at work trying to get this one answered....studying numerous compute generated models of the physics of gridlocks and inventing all new traffic-light algorithms. some have even suggested that the rythms of road traffic are influenced by the same cyclical forces taht cause waves in the ocean....for an average commuter....it all boils down to ..........there are just too many people trying to do teh same thing at the same place at the same time...
p.s.:xpert suggestion....try flushing every single toilet in your office at the same time and see what happens....hehe
DISCLAIMER:do the above mentioned at your own risk...im not liable for any resultant inconvinience....hehe
Can a man and woman ever just be "friends"?
for a short time yes perhaps remotely....possible??? making the friendship last for ever requires taht one of them finds the other one at least vaguely repulsive...or they r not straight or have deviant sexual preferences....i guess....
When should a friendship be ended?
As soon as you get the sneaking suspicion that it never really began....on a personal note i have had bad expiriences with my "friends" but never really got round to ending it totally...was shit scared of being lonely...not that im not lonely now...but neway...coudnt be bothered.....
do animals have a 6th sense like us?
or a seventh in fact???....oh well a box jellyfish has 24 eyes,the entire body of an earth worm is a bloody taste receptor...cockroaches can detect movement 2000 times the diameter of a Hydrogen atom....and for those who have dogs..they can smell upto 100,000 times betetr than u can...i think they just are super human "species" neway...us lesser mortals have to learn to deal with what we have or should i say havent ;)
hope that answers the question...lol
where do traffic jams come from?
scientists are hard at work trying to get this one answered....studying numerous compute generated models of the physics of gridlocks and inventing all new traffic-light algorithms. some have even suggested that the rythms of road traffic are influenced by the same cyclical forces taht cause waves in the ocean....for an average commuter....it all boils down to ..........there are just too many people trying to do teh same thing at the same place at the same time...
p.s.:xpert suggestion....try flushing every single toilet in your office at the same time and see what happens....hehe
DISCLAIMER:do the above mentioned at your own risk...im not liable for any resultant inconvinience....hehe
Can a man and woman ever just be "friends"?
for a short time yes perhaps remotely....possible??? making the friendship last for ever requires taht one of them finds the other one at least vaguely repulsive...or they r not straight or have deviant sexual preferences....i guess....
When should a friendship be ended?
As soon as you get the sneaking suspicion that it never really began....on a personal note i have had bad expiriences with my "friends" but never really got round to ending it totally...was shit scared of being lonely...not that im not lonely now...but neway...coudnt be bothered.....
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
a slice out of someones life...
how often does it happen that we actually watch something that we enjoy...i woudnt say its frequent...last week i happened to watch this beautiful french film..its called the common thread...was a delightful short film...the protagonist- a young maiden...claire who is a 17 year old living away from home just to be close to where she sees herself being happy....shes a tough girl with a soft heart..she loves embroidering on nice fabric...she gets hired by a middle aged lady with who she shares a common love (hence the name -a common thread) for embroidering...together they find trust and love for each other...the film ends with claire saying she wants to keep the baby girl (now growing inside her womb) who she had earlier thought of giving away for adoption after giving birth to it anonymously...meanwhile love blossoms between her and the brother of (her best and may be only friend) lucile.
the background score of the movie was like honey to my ears....
that night ( i watched it on saturday 3rd November) ended pretty well.while we were watching the film...it started pouring outside....and after finishing the film...we all ran out onto the balcony to get a feel of the rain...got soaked....no wonder the feverish feeling i have today...bunked work to hybernate....all in all a night well spent...
the background score of the movie was like honey to my ears....
that night ( i watched it on saturday 3rd November) ended pretty well.while we were watching the film...it started pouring outside....and after finishing the film...we all ran out onto the balcony to get a feel of the rain...got soaked....no wonder the feverish feeling i have today...bunked work to hybernate....all in all a night well spent...
phobias galore...........
Today while surfing the net for something worthwhile to interest my idle mind...came across this link on various types of phobias the homo sapiens suffer from....apparently people tend to get scared of really "bizarre" things...as i would think of it....im goin to plagiarise this bit...
"There are by official estimate thousands of them on the scene today--specific phobias such as the fear of nude men and women, ugly people, beautiful people, long hair, short hair, good deeds, bad deeds, and life after death. The little fears range from the fear of oneself (monophobia) to the fear of everyone else (anthrophobia), and psychiatrists say they've already scientifically labeled over 700 of the redoubtable dreads--although they've just started counting.
We have plenty of vestiophobes, people with an aversion to wearing clothing, around today, and there are even a few nonstreakers left who suffer from the fear of not wearing clothes. Among sexual phobias, or hang-ups, we can report gynephobia, the fear of women, its companion androphobia, the fear of men, as well as pornophobia, the fear of prostitutes, and gamophobia, the fear of marriage. Then, too, almost everyone has some form of zoophobia, the fear of other animals, ranging from the fear of dogs to the fear of cats and rats. But there are also botanophobes, who dislike plants, and even anthophobes, who fear just flowers. Acrophobia, the fear of heights, is also high on the list, as is claustrophobia--the dread of closed or of narrow places. The fear of thunder has 4 names, astraphobia, keraunophobia, ceraunophobia and tonitrophobia. The number of names for this very reasonable fear of sudden disastrous explosions is almost matched in our time by the number of names for the fear of being alone--autophobia, eremophobia, and monophobia."
hmmmm a lot isn't it....never really thought people could be scared of other people..when i started thinking what im scared of ...i could actually think of a few different things which i fear...i have these recurrent dreams about falling through free space and suddenly banging against something and its pretty frequent i must say...the dream ( more like a nightmare) ends in me jerking out of sleep drenched in sweat...i am always scared of missing steps when i am hurrying down or up a flight of stairs..which i tend to do pretty often ( im a super lazy and tend to rush when ever i have to leave coz im invariably running a bit late).....
I have always had this phobia about people unseen to me, watching my every move...when i was in year 12, this was back in kolkata...my granma ...who i always shared our room with ( was gone-visiting my uncle) i had changed my cycle to sleeping late into the day and staying up studying late at night...i function better that way...neway...i always used to leave my windows open and draw the curtains aside...there was this massive mango tree swaying in the pleasant summer breeze...i coudnt help imagiining something ( rather someone) was sitting there welel concealed and watching every move i made....it made me feel like every move i make is under surveillance...used to freak me out to such an extent that i ended up closing all windows and doors and doin my work...all sweaty and hot...
recently...in my room couple of weeks earlier...i coudnt sleep all night coz i kept seeing faces or patterns of twisted faces in the massive swaying tree which looked notoriously black a fair distance from my window....
Im scared of the dark....never feel so insecure as i do if im plunged into utter darkness...its like i get claustrophobic and desperately look for a way to escape this cool silence of the darkness around me.....
Once about two years ago my cousins and I tried doing a "seance" aka "planchette" and although we were convinsed that it woudnt really work two among the three of us felt something change around us when we were trying to focus on the job at hand....that was quiet a lesson...have made a promise to myself never to fool around with these kindof paranormal forces ( it they really do exist) i woudnt be too keen on on them following me around...
"There are by official estimate thousands of them on the scene today--specific phobias such as the fear of nude men and women, ugly people, beautiful people, long hair, short hair, good deeds, bad deeds, and life after death. The little fears range from the fear of oneself (monophobia) to the fear of everyone else (anthrophobia), and psychiatrists say they've already scientifically labeled over 700 of the redoubtable dreads--although they've just started counting.
We have plenty of vestiophobes, people with an aversion to wearing clothing, around today, and there are even a few nonstreakers left who suffer from the fear of not wearing clothes. Among sexual phobias, or hang-ups, we can report gynephobia, the fear of women, its companion androphobia, the fear of men, as well as pornophobia, the fear of prostitutes, and gamophobia, the fear of marriage. Then, too, almost everyone has some form of zoophobia, the fear of other animals, ranging from the fear of dogs to the fear of cats and rats. But there are also botanophobes, who dislike plants, and even anthophobes, who fear just flowers. Acrophobia, the fear of heights, is also high on the list, as is claustrophobia--the dread of closed or of narrow places. The fear of thunder has 4 names, astraphobia, keraunophobia, ceraunophobia and tonitrophobia. The number of names for this very reasonable fear of sudden disastrous explosions is almost matched in our time by the number of names for the fear of being alone--autophobia, eremophobia, and monophobia."
hmmmm a lot isn't it....never really thought people could be scared of other people..when i started thinking what im scared of ...i could actually think of a few different things which i fear...i have these recurrent dreams about falling through free space and suddenly banging against something and its pretty frequent i must say...the dream ( more like a nightmare) ends in me jerking out of sleep drenched in sweat...i am always scared of missing steps when i am hurrying down or up a flight of stairs..which i tend to do pretty often ( im a super lazy and tend to rush when ever i have to leave coz im invariably running a bit late).....
I have always had this phobia about people unseen to me, watching my every move...when i was in year 12, this was back in kolkata...my granma ...who i always shared our room with ( was gone-visiting my uncle) i had changed my cycle to sleeping late into the day and staying up studying late at night...i function better that way...neway...i always used to leave my windows open and draw the curtains aside...there was this massive mango tree swaying in the pleasant summer breeze...i coudnt help imagiining something ( rather someone) was sitting there welel concealed and watching every move i made....it made me feel like every move i make is under surveillance...used to freak me out to such an extent that i ended up closing all windows and doors and doin my work...all sweaty and hot...
recently...in my room couple of weeks earlier...i coudnt sleep all night coz i kept seeing faces or patterns of twisted faces in the massive swaying tree which looked notoriously black a fair distance from my window....
Im scared of the dark....never feel so insecure as i do if im plunged into utter darkness...its like i get claustrophobic and desperately look for a way to escape this cool silence of the darkness around me.....
Once about two years ago my cousins and I tried doing a "seance" aka "planchette" and although we were convinsed that it woudnt really work two among the three of us felt something change around us when we were trying to focus on the job at hand....that was quiet a lesson...have made a promise to myself never to fool around with these kindof paranormal forces ( it they really do exist) i woudnt be too keen on on them following me around...
a carefree gud laugh.....Ha Ha Ha...
Authorities said a fight broke out on board a flight arriving at Miami International Airport on Wednesday morning.American Airlines Flight 918 was en route to Miami from Lima, Peru, when, according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, a 56-year-old Japanese man and a 20-year-old man got into an altercation.The FBI said that about two hours before the flight was scheduled to land, the Japanese man elbowed the passenger sitting next to him. Federal authorities said the Japanese man didn't think the passenger should be using an iPod in flight and complained that he smelled. He then poured perfume on the man, poured water on himself and vomited in the aisle, authorities said."(Flight attendants) were able to basically keep both apart for the remainder of the flight," said Miami-Dade police spokeswoman Nelda Fonticella. "Once they got here, the crew did notify Miami-Dade police."When the plane arrived at Gate D-43 shortly before 6 a.m., police greeted both men.No charges were filed, but authorities said American Airlines denied boarding the Japanese man a day earlier because he had been behaving strangely.
ever heard of the strip search prank calls....well i didnt know until now...it involves a man calling up a restaurant, claiming to be a detective who convinced managerial staff to strip-search all female restaurant employees. It took 70 such occurences in 30 US counties before police nabbed the man responsible for this..turned out to be a florida corrections officer (senile off course) who was later arrested and charged....
more too come........lol
watch this video my cousiin showed it to me...got me rolling...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE
ever heard of the strip search prank calls....well i didnt know until now...it involves a man calling up a restaurant, claiming to be a detective who convinced managerial staff to strip-search all female restaurant employees. It took 70 such occurences in 30 US counties before police nabbed the man responsible for this..turned out to be a florida corrections officer (senile off course) who was later arrested and charged....
more too come........lol
watch this video my cousiin showed it to me...got me rolling...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE
Little things that go unnoticed....
i have often thought of a lot of things that i only ever thought about when i was not preoccupied with other "more important" things....a smily face in the crowd......the first showers of spring (well yeah its kindof is refereshing unlike the torrential rains during winter)....appreciating something that ones family has done for them ( although people generally tend to ignore that, its kindof expected of them afterall isn't that what families are for? to stand by you all the time and be supportive)....little children running around in the park or playing on the streets....a garden in full blossom...a clear deep blue sky and the sun in a corner shining with all its glory...just the other day i walked down and spent some time at the floating raft like thing behind the opera house...it was a bright summer day not to hot and breezy...i have been meaning to go for walks since a long time but actually ended up doin mundane things even in my lunch break...when i did manage to go, absorb the fresh sea breeze and felt the salty spray on my skin....it felt heavenly...i spent quiet some time staring down at the bottomless (well not really at the harbour...it was built by reclaiming land from the ocean.....wonder how they do that) ocean.I have been goin through a rough patch in recent past and failed to appreciate a lot of things that came my way...coz the mind and heart was preoccupied with the daily "jargon" ( i do tend to reason out things and talk to myself a lot) that goes through my mind...then realization dawned on me...felt like just letting things go and lay back and njoy the sights and sounds of the ambience...it actually worked and happened to calm me down a significant bit...somethign i have noticed is the more one tends to hanker after something the further it goes from us.....like someone has wisely remarked...if you love something a lot let it go....if it comes back to you, its yours..or it was never yours to begin with.............
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