how many times have i actually thought of saying sorry to someone for something mean i said or did....but never really ended up saying it....not too often...but yes there have been times when i would do anything but utter that word "sorry"....but every time i have said that to someone....i instantly feel better.....
the incident that comes to mind rite now happened about 2.5 years ago...got into a rather rough patch with a dear friend of mine.....we had some misunderstandings ....."THANKS"
to a random idiot who i happened to pour my heart out to....and being really close friends (at least i felt that way) i was devastated when my friend woudnt talk to me and accused me of being a ***** who had no morals and shit like that....i couldn't sleep at night for days on end...cry my eyes out....people at uni would be like what on earth was wrong with me...i repeatedly said sorry even though it wasn't really my fault....neway we've reconciled since then....but things havent really quiet been the way they used to be the pre-"that episode" days.....i still lament the loss of a strong bond...but i guess life moves on....
I have had a tumultous couple of years in the recent past.....and the situations ihave been thrust into have in a lot of ways made me more mature as a person...and to try learn and live life alone....coz i am convinced of one thing for sure...my lucks pretty crap....never get what i want easily enough without having to loose sleep over it....being easily effected by whats in in and around my life....i tend to get depressed a lot these days tooo...trying to block out things but in vain.....should get there soon...i mean be successful in becoming a total recluse with no attachments (social) whatsoever.....
enough of depressing monologues....today is a big day here....Melbourne cup is on in a while .......people are xtra happy coz they thought it would have to be cancelled due to the widespread equistrian flu "epidemic" ...well almost...but o well its finally happening...im kindof unwell.....bored at work as always...;).....lol....so in a while we leave all office staff ..heading to a cafe down the street...just socialise watch the race....dine along with wine....not really dining but late lunch with champaigne and wine.....i kindof needed just this....havent met a soul outside of home....well not literally but not met up with friends in eons....hopefully will have a not that mundane afternoon afterall i guess....
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