About Me

im a dreamer all the way....always pursuing my heart over my head ( have to stop doing that one of these days)....in short im an endless ocean of thoughts.....

Sunday, June 22, 2008

random....**$@.....shreds...

I finish my exams tomorrow....been waiting for this impatiently...being pretty much cut off from the rest of the world....isn't all that pleasant...gets on my nerves at times....and to release tension I lose myself in the virtual world of movies...and my fantasies....

I tend to get very very uncomfortable...when I am by myself after sun set...Cannot begin to imagine this horrible feeling of sheer loneliness that begins to creep in....Although I know nothing could go wrong...I mean sucurity is good here...but something doesn't feel alright if its just me ....and it freaks me out....

Im reallly really excited about goin home in some months time...Plan to be super stingy to save up money for my plans....but my fiends are starting to complain already when I mention this...not much going out all that often....Over the past few nights I have been dreaming about my childhood nest...the garden....I used to run off to and hide from my mum..when she was trying to get me to do a sheet of maths problems...or trying to shove boring chicken stew down my oesophagus....I still hate chiken stew...

Every time mom tried to feed me something nutritious I would consider her my biggest enemy and plot ways to escape from her clutches...I used to be one Naughty kid....mommy would get complains every now and again from school...about me beating up a guy..or bullying someone...at lunchtime....and one line that never failed to appear on my report card was "she is very talkative in class"....that was something all teachers would consistently winge about....but over the years no one has been able to do anything to change it....

Those good old days...makes my eyes moist when I remember them...gone never to return...I had been wanting to go back to the house I spent the initial 12 years of my childhood in....for a long time...but have been caught up with a lot of things...and have thus been procrastinating....but I am goin to take a walk down memory lane this time when I go home.....my dreams have lately been a montage of the itsy bitsy slices of those 12 years...

It feels wierd knowing when I go home this time..not all the familiar faces I am used to seeing would be around...I hate being all grown up....and seeing that sense of security and bonding I felt would last for ever between me and my friends...gradually disappear....not that its always the case that things aren't working out for us ...but more that life takes us in different directions...and I would never have thought five years back that I would be far far away from home on one bright winter afternoon typing up this blog...and being all nostalgic...

I still remember the times when I used to play dressups with my cousins....lock ourselves in a room and pull out all the pretty sarees and dresses and try them on...and pose in front of the mirror....it was so much fun...I happened to mention this to my roommate the other day...and told her about how no one wants to play dressups with me anymore coz they thnk I'm being childish...and she came up to me last nite and said she would play with me after i finish my exams...YOOHOOO....

the things people give up to be grown up...makes me sad...

5 comments:

Sam said...

nostalgia has a way of creeping up on u.... :)

Tairebabs said...

I am actually slightly different from u. I enjoy my alone time. Its when I can make plans, organise my thoughts and just relax. I admit that sometimes it gets lonely especially when life's wonderful issues show their ugly head. Lol.but all said nd done my alone time is very important.

Humm when I was younger I loved to play video games. I still do. A lot of pple say I shld grow up there but it makes me happy nd brings out my inner child. I say if u want to play dress up, have a ball nd enjoy becos life afterall is too short!

Ur roomate is sweet.

Macadamia The Nut said...

You know what, one day you'll realize that your best friend is ... YOU! And then you'll have super fun :D
Also, I believe that you are only as old or young as you want to be, right? I'm pretty happy to be me - luckily i'm not one of those la di dah jaded world weary 'old souls'.
Touchwood :D

Llama said...

"the things people give up to be grown up..." -- Aww.. that is one nostalgic post. Hang in there girl -- getting all grown up is no fun at all. Hope you get to play dressup dressup after the exams.

And PS: How can you not like chicken stew? Or am I one of the few weird ones who do?

Aphrodite said...

@sam..it does tooo...

@taire...i do love alone time too...but only between sunrise and senset...not after dark...

@nut..ur rite...im only how old i want me to be...and i will never let the child inside leave...

@poojo...i don't like stew...:( forcing nething on neone takes the charm out of it....

ardent poignant soul....

lost in nostalgia...