About Me

im a dreamer all the way....always pursuing my heart over my head ( have to stop doing that one of these days)....in short im an endless ocean of thoughts.....

Friday, June 20, 2008

life or the so called life

sometimes it makes me wonder...what is the purpose of living the life im living...I mean living life like a nobody....is not something appealing...yeah sure when you are born you parents, other family members and neighbours perhaps rejoice at the miracle of birth yet again...a new life being among them... but that sure is short lived...over the span of "life" on the face of this earth...we also tend to make friends (some very close ones one could treasure for life) and some not that close... & acquaintances of our own....and then if you travell across the barrier of this life and into the next one..the one called afterlife....again sure a few people would miss you...but that is all...

I cannot remember when I lost my desire to strive for a few things I thought were really important to me....and I can't remember when a few people I thought would be there with me for life...left my side even before I had begun to understand the complexities of life...and it hurt a lot...suddenly finding myself alone..without the familiar faces around....but I guess this is life...and you learn to live it as it comes and move on....Moving on is probably one of the most commonly used phrases...one can come across....evryone is advising evryone to move on with life all the time...its easier said than done...

especially if you tend to be one who cries bucketfulls when watching melodramatic films and get dewy eyed at the merest mention of loved ones....Its kindof embarassing I tell you...

I am very happy today due to a variety of diferent reasons...but somewhere at the back of my mind...I feel a tad melancholy...I dreamt about things I thought I had gotten totally over and thought that I had managed to get out of my system...it seemed pretty surreal too...but was a stupid dream after all....but not everyone gets the thing they wish for....wishful thinking is fun but is limited to being a figment of our imagination.....mostly....

Oh I wish I could get so many different things....and be with some people....I would like to be with....wishful thinking...but i so so wish...for things to change...

3 comments:

Macadamia The Nut said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Macadamia The Nut said...

You know what? How much ever you 'move on' life's going to throw shit-cakes at you every step of the way. :D We've to learn to deal with it. It's not easy. It's not 'cool'. It's not going to change. BUT for your own sanity, you'll have to dealt with it.

I'm also a huge crybaby. But now a days I do it just to get the frustration out of me and then stop thinking about it. It's not easy, but I've perfected the art over the past 4 years. And that's because I had just two choices 1)Be controlled by certain morons and give up everything I've ever wanted OR 2)Decide to trust no one but myself, expect nothing and live happily loving myself

I'm still vacillating between the two.. but outwardly I'm on path 2. And it helps.. I think.. maybe

:D I'm blabbed on more than I intended to. Sigh! Just one of those phases where things have bogged me down as well...

Aphrodite said...

@nut....i knw what u mean...i try path 2 as well...doesnt seem to work too well..but saves me a lot of pain....

ardent poignant soul....

lost in nostalgia...