unsaid words...

its so true...that sometimes silence speaks more than words do....I never used to understand how...but i have begun to realise all these different things now... equally true is this...sometimes unsaid things can seem harsher than the harshest words spat out by someone....

after all people learn from experiences...such is what life...that over the years when one grows old...one picks up thorns and petals along the way and thus get moulded...our life is always teaching or telling us things...but we do not begin to hear it till we have almost lived a third of our life...an average human being lives upto the age of mid 70...so I would say we are almost in our early 20's before we start realising things...

One can't be blamed for this though...I mean who would bother to think about serious things like future career and what life holds for us..and the likes of where would he/she end up working or marrying when there are more important things like making fun of the loosers around...and mimicing teachers and buking class..and whispering in groups about one's latest crush...this is what took up most of our time in high school...

indian parents as everyone knows...nevertheless try and talk sense into kids...so did my parents....."don't waste time"..."have you done your homework?".."look at how neat and pretty your friend's handwriting is! why are you so messy?" and the likes of it...and trust me it used to drive me nuts..all this comaprison..and being told I am not doing well enough...I never turned out to be the nerdy type who would make sure everythign is done and worked out in time...I have been a procrastinator all my life...which is something I still try to fight...I have always crammed a week before exams..and touchwood...haven't done bad either...

anyway...I happened to talk to M a while back and our conversation was rather impersonal conversation....while it go time thinking...I am glad it was the way it was....this particular person used to be one of my best buds at a point of time....so close were we...it was like...if one was seen without the other people would ask Y...and we could read each others minds...but like always....it was short lived....turned out it was an act....it was so ackward....when i went home last year...meeting up and pretending like things were as perfect as always...when I could and im sure M could too feel what was going on at the back of my mind...I wasn't surprised to notice a while back...snaps of M and a nother person...posing....and this was the very person who was a subject of hatred even half a year back...who cares...I told myself....whats done is done..and can't do nething about it...

there was this other person R who again I used to be inseperable with sometime in high school....and now we don't talk anymore...strange aye....how you can be sooo close to a person at some time and the next moment he/she could be the last person on earth you would want to bump into....when I picture our times together...it does bring a faint smile on my face...just remembering all the mischeives we had been upto...used to be teacher's pet inspite of all...we didn't get in touch when I was in india last year...

I had spent a significant bit of time trying to be someone I wasn't deep down....constantly striving to be somebody you are not can be hard....I stopped once i realised that it doesn't really make a difference....people will come to you if they like you for who you are...irrespective of whether you are/ are not the best friend they can have...don't feel the need to please people and keep then happy so they don't leave you alone...that woudn't really count for true liking would it...coz those who like you would take you for who you are...good or bad...

anyway...rather have a few really good friends you can depend on than a million of which most would disaapear at the slightest touch of complication...Im happy now....Masks don't stay for too long....Face is the reflection of the characteristics a being-its so true!