heres the link to my new blog...im moving...u heard me ....;)
http://bewitchedlass.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
unsaid words...
its so true...that sometimes silence speaks more than words do....I never used to understand how...but i have begun to realise all these different things now... equally true is this...sometimes unsaid things can seem harsher than the harshest words spat out by someone....
after all people learn from experiences...such is what life...that over the years when one grows old...one picks up thorns and petals along the way and thus get moulded...our life is always teaching or telling us things...but we do not begin to hear it till we have almost lived a third of our life...an average human being lives upto the age of mid 70...so I would say we are almost in our early 20's before we start realising things...
One can't be blamed for this though...I mean who would bother to think about serious things like future career and what life holds for us..and the likes of where would he/she end up working or marrying when there are more important things like making fun of the loosers around...and mimicing teachers and buking class..and whispering in groups about one's latest crush...this is what took up most of our time in high school...
indian parents as everyone knows...nevertheless try and talk sense into kids...so did my parents....."don't waste time"..."have you done your homework?".."look at how neat and pretty your friend's handwriting is! why are you so messy?" and the likes of it...and trust me it used to drive me nuts..all this comaprison..and being told I am not doing well enough...I never turned out to be the nerdy type who would make sure everythign is done and worked out in time...I have been a procrastinator all my life...which is something I still try to fight...I have always crammed a week before exams..and touchwood...haven't done bad either...
anyway...I happened to talk to M a while back and our conversation was rather impersonal conversation....while it go time thinking...I am glad it was the way it was....this particular person used to be one of my best buds at a point of time....so close were we...it was like...if one was seen without the other people would ask Y...and we could read each others minds...but like always....it was short lived....turned out it was an act....it was so ackward....when i went home last year...meeting up and pretending like things were as perfect as always...when I could and im sure M could too feel what was going on at the back of my mind...I wasn't surprised to notice a while back...snaps of M and a nother person...posing....and this was the very person who was a subject of hatred even half a year back...who cares...I told myself....whats done is done..and can't do nething about it...
there was this other person R who again I used to be inseperable with sometime in high school....and now we don't talk anymore...strange aye....how you can be sooo close to a person at some time and the next moment he/she could be the last person on earth you would want to bump into....when I picture our times together...it does bring a faint smile on my face...just remembering all the mischeives we had been upto...used to be teacher's pet inspite of all...we didn't get in touch when I was in india last year...
I had spent a significant bit of time trying to be someone I wasn't deep down....constantly striving to be somebody you are not can be hard....I stopped once i realised that it doesn't really make a difference....people will come to you if they like you for who you are...irrespective of whether you are/ are not the best friend they can have...don't feel the need to please people and keep then happy so they don't leave you alone...that woudn't really count for true liking would it...coz those who like you would take you for who you are...good or bad...
anyway...rather have a few really good friends you can depend on than a million of which most would disaapear at the slightest touch of complication...Im happy now....Masks don't stay for too long....Face is the reflection of the characteristics a being-its so true!
after all people learn from experiences...such is what life...that over the years when one grows old...one picks up thorns and petals along the way and thus get moulded...our life is always teaching or telling us things...but we do not begin to hear it till we have almost lived a third of our life...an average human being lives upto the age of mid 70...so I would say we are almost in our early 20's before we start realising things...
One can't be blamed for this though...I mean who would bother to think about serious things like future career and what life holds for us..and the likes of where would he/she end up working or marrying when there are more important things like making fun of the loosers around...and mimicing teachers and buking class..and whispering in groups about one's latest crush...this is what took up most of our time in high school...
indian parents as everyone knows...nevertheless try and talk sense into kids...so did my parents....."don't waste time"..."have you done your homework?".."look at how neat and pretty your friend's handwriting is! why are you so messy?" and the likes of it...and trust me it used to drive me nuts..all this comaprison..and being told I am not doing well enough...I never turned out to be the nerdy type who would make sure everythign is done and worked out in time...I have been a procrastinator all my life...which is something I still try to fight...I have always crammed a week before exams..and touchwood...haven't done bad either...
anyway...I happened to talk to M a while back and our conversation was rather impersonal conversation....while it go time thinking...I am glad it was the way it was....this particular person used to be one of my best buds at a point of time....so close were we...it was like...if one was seen without the other people would ask Y...and we could read each others minds...but like always....it was short lived....turned out it was an act....it was so ackward....when i went home last year...meeting up and pretending like things were as perfect as always...when I could and im sure M could too feel what was going on at the back of my mind...I wasn't surprised to notice a while back...snaps of M and a nother person...posing....and this was the very person who was a subject of hatred even half a year back...who cares...I told myself....whats done is done..and can't do nething about it...
there was this other person R who again I used to be inseperable with sometime in high school....and now we don't talk anymore...strange aye....how you can be sooo close to a person at some time and the next moment he/she could be the last person on earth you would want to bump into....when I picture our times together...it does bring a faint smile on my face...just remembering all the mischeives we had been upto...used to be teacher's pet inspite of all...we didn't get in touch when I was in india last year...
I had spent a significant bit of time trying to be someone I wasn't deep down....constantly striving to be somebody you are not can be hard....I stopped once i realised that it doesn't really make a difference....people will come to you if they like you for who you are...irrespective of whether you are/ are not the best friend they can have...don't feel the need to please people and keep then happy so they don't leave you alone...that woudn't really count for true liking would it...coz those who like you would take you for who you are...good or bad...
anyway...rather have a few really good friends you can depend on than a million of which most would disaapear at the slightest touch of complication...Im happy now....Masks don't stay for too long....Face is the reflection of the characteristics a being-its so true!
Friday, July 18, 2008
random doodling....
I'm back yet again...a friday night....the good weekend mood kicking in...:)my day was quite good...went to work in the morning...and got bored there as usual...at least my language skills improving....one good thing!! Was dying of hunger because i had skipped breakfast not knowingly ...but I somehow just forgot to eat before I left home....!!!had a filing tandoori chicken sandwich...with loads of lettuce and capsicum and tomatoes and mushrooms in it....but paid $7.50 for it...so not worth 7.50!!!
its as cold as ever still in my world its like in the narnia series..100 years of winter kindof concept...its so friggin cold....I'm unable to handle it:(....I'm lazy to begin with and weather is doing nothing to help...rather making things worse....anyway...during one of my breaks was goin through this article in in todays SMH...
Coping with cold is child's play for some, agony for others....
WHY does winter affect people differently? Why can some people happily survive in shorts while others freeze in coats?..thats how it starts offf.....people who are obese or FAT and muscle-y people have a natural INSULATION..but what about peoplelike us :(...apparently our brain can be tricked into thinking the body is overheating if we eat spicy/hot food which triggers some temperature receptor inpulses...and the brain then thinks its actually not that cold...but i don't even eat that much hot food...:(
anyway...I have had a growing interest in puzzles...sudoku and word jumbles and crosswords since a while...not to forget my all time addiction to the dictionary game...today was one of "being impulsive" days....felt an intense desire to solve some of that...and so I left work at 5pm...went straight to a book store and bought myself sudoku book, a new york times crossword collection flipbook...and the highlight of my buy is a masterpiece by my "favi-avourite" author...crime and punishment by fyodor dostoevsky....what a great buy it is only $12...yooohoooo!!!!
while at the book store I also happened to come across the actual book...The 48 Laws of Power is a 1998 book by Robert Greene....i made a reference to one of the laws in a previous post...anyway....another of my current interests these days is playing chess...and this game of marbles..that i used to play as a kid...I had gone to the mountain last december...and happened to find it at an woodart store...the board is made of nice laquered dark wood and the set of marbles i have is green with swirling cloudy patterns inside them....
I tend to digress from what i say too often...neway...I love losing myself in book stores...its like im teleported to another world where its only me and the millions of books neatly arranged on shelves around me...and while walking around leafing through pages of random books...up and down a million aisles...happen to glide past other silent book lovers.....I always have wished...If I am rich someday..I want to have a big room in my dwelling, just as a library...the four walls would be made of expensive lacquered dark wood shelves...and will be home to all the books that I buy...and whenever I am tired and need to take some rest...I'll just slip into that room...and lose myselt in this fantasy world....and forget all my worries for a while...and be blissfully happy...
each time i enter a book store I get this overwhelming urge to buy all the books i lay my eyes on...books are so expensive these days..ever more so here than back home....its like I can never stop comparing prices and my old habbit of converting into home currency and telling myself what a RIppoFF!!!boy oH! boy!!!
I spent quiet a bit of time reading reviews about the dark knight and so far they have added to my excitement...I'm going to watch it tomorrow night...It seems like this flick will be the moivie of this year...ledgers best ever performance some say...now I have stuff to do...so we part here....ta da...
its as cold as ever still in my world its like in the narnia series..100 years of winter kindof concept...its so friggin cold....I'm unable to handle it:(....I'm lazy to begin with and weather is doing nothing to help...rather making things worse....anyway...during one of my breaks was goin through this article in in todays SMH...
Coping with cold is child's play for some, agony for others....
WHY does winter affect people differently? Why can some people happily survive in shorts while others freeze in coats?..thats how it starts offf.....people who are obese or FAT and muscle-y people have a natural INSULATION..but what about peoplelike us :(...apparently our brain can be tricked into thinking the body is overheating if we eat spicy/hot food which triggers some temperature receptor inpulses...and the brain then thinks its actually not that cold...but i don't even eat that much hot food...:(
anyway...I have had a growing interest in puzzles...sudoku and word jumbles and crosswords since a while...not to forget my all time addiction to the dictionary game...today was one of "being impulsive" days....felt an intense desire to solve some of that...and so I left work at 5pm...went straight to a book store and bought myself sudoku book, a new york times crossword collection flipbook...and the highlight of my buy is a masterpiece by my "favi-avourite" author...crime and punishment by fyodor dostoevsky....what a great buy it is only $12...yooohoooo!!!!
while at the book store I also happened to come across the actual book...The 48 Laws of Power is a 1998 book by Robert Greene....i made a reference to one of the laws in a previous post...anyway....another of my current interests these days is playing chess...and this game of marbles..that i used to play as a kid...I had gone to the mountain last december...and happened to find it at an woodart store...the board is made of nice laquered dark wood and the set of marbles i have is green with swirling cloudy patterns inside them....
I tend to digress from what i say too often...neway...I love losing myself in book stores...its like im teleported to another world where its only me and the millions of books neatly arranged on shelves around me...and while walking around leafing through pages of random books...up and down a million aisles...happen to glide past other silent book lovers.....I always have wished...If I am rich someday..I want to have a big room in my dwelling, just as a library...the four walls would be made of expensive lacquered dark wood shelves...and will be home to all the books that I buy...and whenever I am tired and need to take some rest...I'll just slip into that room...and lose myselt in this fantasy world....and forget all my worries for a while...and be blissfully happy...
each time i enter a book store I get this overwhelming urge to buy all the books i lay my eyes on...books are so expensive these days..ever more so here than back home....its like I can never stop comparing prices and my old habbit of converting into home currency and telling myself what a RIppoFF!!!boy oH! boy!!!
I spent quiet a bit of time reading reviews about the dark knight and so far they have added to my excitement...I'm going to watch it tomorrow night...It seems like this flick will be the moivie of this year...ledgers best ever performance some say...now I have stuff to do...so we part here....ta da...
Thursday, July 17, 2008
rise and shine....;)
this is a random middle of the week post....its a thursday afternoon..may i specify a sunny bright yet chilly thursday afternoon..the 17th of july....the dark knight releases today....the much awaited flick.....ledgers last film....
I have been trying to convinse people to come watch the film with me....been quiet atask....i can't believe hardly anyone wants to go...:(...anyway did manage to find few folks who agreed...so the day to watch it is this saturday...im excited...neway had i not found anyone i would probably have gone and seen it by myself....have done this earlier ....another guy just confirmed he'll come...:)
anyway.....i have been a bit tight in budget and finances..so i have been keeping a watch on what i was buying...and im also trying to eat in rather than eat out...im kindof sick of eating restaurant or junk food....and moreover i absolutely love cooking....im gonna go cook in a while...but somehow my woolworths bills always seem to be never less than $25....food items are expensive...with world food and oil inflation on the rise...and rents increasing tooo....it seems like there is no way one could ever have enough savings....bloody taxes are a killer tooo...
lodged my tax return online and i know im gonna get back a small fraction of what got deducted....its bloody hard to survive without a fulltime job:(....sick of being poor....i like it when i dont have to calculate and recalculate before spending money on a gorgeous dress....
I have been trying to convinse people to come watch the film with me....been quiet atask....i can't believe hardly anyone wants to go...:(...anyway did manage to find few folks who agreed...so the day to watch it is this saturday...im excited...neway had i not found anyone i would probably have gone and seen it by myself....have done this earlier ....another guy just confirmed he'll come...:)
anyway.....i have been a bit tight in budget and finances..so i have been keeping a watch on what i was buying...and im also trying to eat in rather than eat out...im kindof sick of eating restaurant or junk food....and moreover i absolutely love cooking....im gonna go cook in a while...but somehow my woolworths bills always seem to be never less than $25....food items are expensive...with world food and oil inflation on the rise...and rents increasing tooo....it seems like there is no way one could ever have enough savings....bloody taxes are a killer tooo...
lodged my tax return online and i know im gonna get back a small fraction of what got deducted....its bloody hard to survive without a fulltime job:(....sick of being poor....i like it when i dont have to calculate and recalculate before spending money on a gorgeous dress....
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Infect this world....
yet another late nite post...happened to have a conversation with a friend...one of those touchy ones...abt people using people...and just bothering to keep touch when in need...actually more for personal selfish reasons...
and the likes of it...
neway that struck a familiar chord....one of those been there....seen it moments....just happened to remember this forward mail a friend had sent me...its called "the 48 laws of power"...one of them says
Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies
Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.
I have learnt it the hard way tooo....It hurts as hell to start with when u feel betrayed....and the very person u thought was ur closest person...does a 180 degree and comes out of the camouflage that you thought was reality....first comes intense anger...and then with realisation comes pain...a lot of pain....and then with time comes acceptance and you learn to move on...thts what people around always keep saying neway....just move on....life will pick up pace soon....
and if one happens to be like me...bit too emotional...it takes more time to get over people...and if its matters of the heart...somewhere at the back of the mind always i think....neway....
like i was saying...most people you meet are just the pretentious type who would just love to share the limelight with you...and try to slip away unnoticed at the first signs of un happiness...weell when i say that i don't mean...stick thru a horrible crisis come what may and sulk and mourn even if u can't do anythign to change things...but...just letting one know that if needed you can be a shoulder to cry on makes a lot of difference....trust me!!!.....those few words are so powerful....as to make a difference to the persons state of mind...
at least you tried to make them smile...and boy the joy u'll feel if u can make a difference in someones life...is not comparable to anything...well not quiet but its a good feeling...
and to keep away from misery....best thing to do is to connect less with people...very very hard to achieve for some...but if attained...u can be happy...
after all every day we live we try to wake up with a smile on our face...and make sure you don't forget to pass it on to as many people as possible...a smile can be one of the most contagious things on the face of this planet...so infect as many people as u can...thats what I have in mind ....smiling doesn't hurt or cost you anything...on the other hand it might make someone else...day a little better if not a lot...so be a happy puppy and infect this world with your smile....
and the likes of it...
neway that struck a familiar chord....one of those been there....seen it moments....just happened to remember this forward mail a friend had sent me...its called "the 48 laws of power"...one of them says
Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies
Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.
I have learnt it the hard way tooo....It hurts as hell to start with when u feel betrayed....and the very person u thought was ur closest person...does a 180 degree and comes out of the camouflage that you thought was reality....first comes intense anger...and then with realisation comes pain...a lot of pain....and then with time comes acceptance and you learn to move on...thts what people around always keep saying neway....just move on....life will pick up pace soon....
and if one happens to be like me...bit too emotional...it takes more time to get over people...and if its matters of the heart...somewhere at the back of the mind always i think....neway....
like i was saying...most people you meet are just the pretentious type who would just love to share the limelight with you...and try to slip away unnoticed at the first signs of un happiness...weell when i say that i don't mean...stick thru a horrible crisis come what may and sulk and mourn even if u can't do anythign to change things...but...just letting one know that if needed you can be a shoulder to cry on makes a lot of difference....trust me!!!.....those few words are so powerful....as to make a difference to the persons state of mind...
at least you tried to make them smile...and boy the joy u'll feel if u can make a difference in someones life...is not comparable to anything...well not quiet but its a good feeling...
and to keep away from misery....best thing to do is to connect less with people...very very hard to achieve for some...but if attained...u can be happy...
after all every day we live we try to wake up with a smile on our face...and make sure you don't forget to pass it on to as many people as possible...a smile can be one of the most contagious things on the face of this planet...so infect as many people as u can...thats what I have in mind ....smiling doesn't hurt or cost you anything...on the other hand it might make someone else...day a little better if not a lot...so be a happy puppy and infect this world with your smile....
Sunday, July 6, 2008
sleepless in.....
yet another time...im wide awake in the wee hours of a sunday morning...nearly 2am...not too tired and hence not sleepy..i think...neway...the day was good...actually won't be doing justice if i said good...it was great....
i have gotten back into reading dostoevsky again....im in love with him....his descriptions are somewhat wierd and have something about em....i also have added another city to my travel list...st. petersberg....aka leningrad in the past...i'm currently reading notes from the underground...wierdest thing i have read till date....its a must read if not for anything else, the abrupt monologues that go on for ever....
caught up with my uni friends and it was a nice quiet evening...watched the new will smith flick....cld have ben better...he looked hot as always...;) Im eagerly waiting for the dark knight...i have a subtle crush on someone again...but not worth nething...so have to forget about it...have to stop procrastinating and get back onto the research thingie as of tomorrow.... been working quiet a bit lately...and its almost like i'm getting paid to learn my mother tongue and getting to know it better...not bad...made me realise how rich and beautiful the language is...i'm also going through one of my phases currently...these days it is...feel proud about my roots moments...mostly..actually all the time...kindof becoming absessed to an extent abt stuff in general...
the trip next week up north isn't happening....im eagerly awaiting the time when i can fly home....and relax and unwind...and do all that i have in mind...oh god hope it all happens as i have pictured it..
i had a bizarre dream last morning...it had my circle of friends mixed up...people from back home for some odd reason knew my friends out here...and the things i saw were pretty wierd tooo...made no sense whatsoever...was a bit surprised to realise i dreamt about a certain things related to a certain person...who i didn't think wld mean much to me....i mean....not to the extent those images exhibited....neway....something more to muse about aye...
there have been certain things that were a constant burden on my mind...since the time i moved base....important things went wrong....but I'm so so so happy things are working out and the gaps closing again....and i hope this time its not a make bilief thing...its for real and hopefully here to stay and become better if not stay the same......;)
i just had a pack of mei goreng..which im in love with...its the tastiest noodle on earth....i could probably live on mei goreng for a week and not complain...and now planning to watch a movie...so ill get back to that...
i have gotten back into reading dostoevsky again....im in love with him....his descriptions are somewhat wierd and have something about em....i also have added another city to my travel list...st. petersberg....aka leningrad in the past...i'm currently reading notes from the underground...wierdest thing i have read till date....its a must read if not for anything else, the abrupt monologues that go on for ever....
caught up with my uni friends and it was a nice quiet evening...watched the new will smith flick....cld have ben better...he looked hot as always...;) Im eagerly waiting for the dark knight...i have a subtle crush on someone again...but not worth nething...so have to forget about it...have to stop procrastinating and get back onto the research thingie as of tomorrow.... been working quiet a bit lately...and its almost like i'm getting paid to learn my mother tongue and getting to know it better...not bad...made me realise how rich and beautiful the language is...i'm also going through one of my phases currently...these days it is...feel proud about my roots moments...mostly..actually all the time...kindof becoming absessed to an extent abt stuff in general...
the trip next week up north isn't happening....im eagerly awaiting the time when i can fly home....and relax and unwind...and do all that i have in mind...oh god hope it all happens as i have pictured it..
i had a bizarre dream last morning...it had my circle of friends mixed up...people from back home for some odd reason knew my friends out here...and the things i saw were pretty wierd tooo...made no sense whatsoever...was a bit surprised to realise i dreamt about a certain things related to a certain person...who i didn't think wld mean much to me....i mean....not to the extent those images exhibited....neway....something more to muse about aye...
there have been certain things that were a constant burden on my mind...since the time i moved base....important things went wrong....but I'm so so so happy things are working out and the gaps closing again....and i hope this time its not a make bilief thing...its for real and hopefully here to stay and become better if not stay the same......;)
i just had a pack of mei goreng..which im in love with...its the tastiest noodle on earth....i could probably live on mei goreng for a week and not complain...and now planning to watch a movie...so ill get back to that...
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
rewinding...
boy has it been a busy few weeks...finished exams a week back and have been busy since...juggling work..studies...socialising and all that jazz...neway i'm loving every moment of it...have been watching lottt of flicks....
apart from that have to get back to research from tomorrow...im running short on money too...not a good time...but im managing somehow....
today was like neother day...i have been getting sleepless nights again...insomnias starting to happen again...and no particular reason there to blame it on....neway...been promising myself i would leave home at 7:30 every morning...but failed to get up before 8:45am every single day since exams....and hence after a lot of rushing...and shoving food down my throat i manage to reach work at 10:11am precisely every single day...
tend to fall asleeep on the train...im just really burnt out and tired all the time for no apparent reason...and yet insomnia inspite of the tiredness...evryone keeps telling me i dont get tired enough..or i wld drift off to dreamland the second i hit my pillow...looks like im gonna have to do something about this....
have been playing cat and mouse games to dodge certain people these days...did an excellent job in avoiding bumping into the last person i went out with...just saved myself some bloody ackward moments-of-no-escape...boy!!neway....a lot of people said i looked really pretty today...thts the highlight of my day...lame kindof...but im a narcissist to an extent...so ill end it there...for now....
apart from that have to get back to research from tomorrow...im running short on money too...not a good time...but im managing somehow....
today was like neother day...i have been getting sleepless nights again...insomnias starting to happen again...and no particular reason there to blame it on....neway...been promising myself i would leave home at 7:30 every morning...but failed to get up before 8:45am every single day since exams....and hence after a lot of rushing...and shoving food down my throat i manage to reach work at 10:11am precisely every single day...
tend to fall asleeep on the train...im just really burnt out and tired all the time for no apparent reason...and yet insomnia inspite of the tiredness...evryone keeps telling me i dont get tired enough..or i wld drift off to dreamland the second i hit my pillow...looks like im gonna have to do something about this....
have been playing cat and mouse games to dodge certain people these days...did an excellent job in avoiding bumping into the last person i went out with...just saved myself some bloody ackward moments-of-no-escape...boy!!neway....a lot of people said i looked really pretty today...thts the highlight of my day...lame kindof...but im a narcissist to an extent...so ill end it there...for now....
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